A Choice between You and the Giant Squid: First Year
by over-reacting-by-default
Summary: In 1971, Lily Evans, Severus Snape and the Marauders start their first year at Hogwarts. This is the start of a series that follows their adventure over the next seven years and beyond Hogwarts during the first wizarding war up until the start of Philosopher's Stone. Eventual Jily and Wolfstar. Mostly told by Lily, but some by the other characters. Disclaimer: I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

Cokeworth was a small industrial town in the English midlands best described as grimy. The ugly factories that dominated the skyline spewed out thick black smoke all day long and a thin layer of dust covered most every surface of the town.

Spinner's End was one such street but from there it was only a short walk to the park where laughter echoed from the swings all summer long. From there one could cross over a mostly clean river still gurgling over shallow rocks where mallards paddled and fish darted among the reeds. After the bridge it was only a few metres along a grassy verge until you hit the nicer roads; lanes of pretty cottages where lawns were still mown and you could see out the windows. At Spinner's End you could hardly see where one house ended and another began.

But now it was only two corners and you rounded onto Forget-Me-Not Way. Then it would not be hard to find the shining brass of number 7, carefully nailed to a freshly painted door. Vines and creepers crawled up red bricks and below the windows bloomed a wild assortment of flowers of every colour and variety imaginable. Carelessly piled in the garden lay two small bikes, wheels still spinning as they were quickly abandoned with shouts of joy in search of freshly-baked cookies.

All in all, No.7 Forget-Me-Not Way was the idyllic childhood home. And so it was for our young heroine, Lily Evans. But just as her life began there and this story as well, sadly it is also where the pure innocence of her childhood began to end.

 **A.N: This was started last year but hopefully I will update more regularly now. Some of the eight chapters that are already here have been edited. There will be new** **chapters coming soon. I have also changed my author name since starting this. Now cross-posting on AO3.**


	2. Chapter 2

**2\. The Letters**

It was the 21st of July 1971 when an old man with long silvery hair and brilliant blue eyes shook back the sleeve of his most unusual clothing and knocked on the door of No.7 Forget-Me-Not Way. In no haste at all he stepped back and hummed quietly to himself, breathing in the fragrant scent of numerous flowerbeds as he waited patiently for the door to open.

…

"Lily! Go and see who's at the door," her mum hollered, "there's flour all over me, my hands and the rest of the kitchen!"

"Ok!" Lily left her book on the sofa and skipped down the hall, long red hair flying wildly behind her. She opened the door, "Hello. Are you looking for my mum?"

In front of her stood a very old man in very odd clothing but eyes full of mirth twinkled at her from behind half-moon glasses, "That depends, are you Miss Lily Evans?"

"How do you know my name?" she wondered.

He handed her a letter of thick yellow-ish paper with green writing on the front and, unusually, a large wax seal on the back, "This is for you. Go on, read it if you like."

Lily tore open the envelope and read the contents greedily. It was a letter from Hogwarts! Of course, Sev had told her that she would be getting one, like him, and she'd been waiting for it all week but until this moment part of her had believed it was all just a joke, that obviously there could be no such thing as magic, like Petunia said. But now she knew it was true.

She peered curiously at the wizard(?) in front of her, "Are… are you Professor Dumbledore?"

He smiled, "Why yes I am Lily. Now how did you know _my_ name?"

"My friend Sev told me about you. He told me lots of things about the magical world. I don't think I really completely believed him until now though…"

Dumbledore reached into his pocket and drew out several small paper bags, "Sev… short for Severus I presume. He must be the young wizard who lives a few streets away. Now let's see… I have pear drops, sherbet lemons and toffees. Would you like one?" he offered her the bags.

While he unstuck two pear drops from each other Lily picked out a sherbet lemon and nodded eagerly, "Thank you! Yes, Sev is one of my best friends."

Then Lily's mum came to the door, stopping and staring in surprise at Dumbledore's strange attire. She rested a hand on her young daughter's shoulder, "Lily dear, care to introduce me to your friend?"

He saved her however from needing to explain by quickly stepping forwards and offering his hand to shake, "Mrs Evans, my name is Professor Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts. Your daughter has a very special talent and if you choose to accept is offered a place at my school."

Lily looked up at her mum who seemed very confused, "I don't understand. Lily has already enrolled at Cokeworth Secondary School where her sister Petunia goes."

"Yes of course," Dumbledore nodded in understanding, "but that can all be taken care of if she would like to go to Hogwarts instead… usually a ministry official explains and sorts these things out but at the moment the ministry… has few people to spare so I am here. Perhaps I should explain better…"

Lily was almost bouncing up and down in excitement, she hadn't told her parents yet about magic being real but now there would be no more secrets and she could go learn to fly and cast spells! She could hardly wait for her mum to understand.

"…you see, Mrs Evans, I am headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry…"

…

Severus sat with his back against the closed door to his room. He picked at the fraying cuff of his overly large coat and tipped his head back to stare at the damp ceiling groaning in frustration and disappointment. Though you might not believe it, Severus had been even more excited about going to Hogwarts than Lily. Hogwarts to him meant more than just adventure; it meant freedom. There he could be himself, be with Lily and do whatever he wanted without worrying about mean kids bullying him for being different or his parents yelling at each other around the clock.

The owl had arrived this morning and his mum had been brimming with excitement along side him which was a rare occurrence these days. But then of course his father had trudged down the stairs for breakfast, seen the letter and insisted he wouldn't be allowed to go.

So now Severus was in his room wishing beyond hope that his mum would win the fighting match just this once.

"TOBIAS! He's a _WIZARD_. He _has_ to go to Hogwarts. There's no way you can stop him."

"Oh yeah?! Well I think that if I say the boy's NOT going then he's NOT going. Do you understand me?"

"But it means _so_ much to him…"

"Well it means _NOTHING_ to me. If I'd known you were a witch before I married you Eileen I NEVER would have."

And so the argument went on. He could hear every word through the paper-thin walls of shadowy Spinner's End with no way to block them out.

His mum rarely stood up for him like this, though it was a poor job she was doing now. Truthfully Severus wondered if she was doing this for him or because if he went off to Hogwarts there would be more food for the two of them to eat. There was never any money to spare, he wondered if he should point that out to his dad.

He knew he'd get to go in the end, he didn't doubt that, just wished his parents would acknowledge his existence as his own self once in a while. A lone tear escaped his eye as he roughly pushed his lank hair back. As long as he and Lily were together – preferably in Slytherin – everything would be ok.

…

James Potter knew he lived a very lucky life. He relished in and appreciated this fact. Of course, he knew others weren't as lucky as him and he'd help them if he could but that wasn't yet as important to him as other things, such as getting a new broom to play Quidditch on.

Being the only child of a wealthy couple who'd once believed they'd never have a child of their own he wanted for nothing, was spoiled at all times of the day and was adored by all.

So when the Hogwarts owl soared in through the kitchen window of the Potter's mansion and narrowly missed upsetting his bowl of cereal James' first thoughts were of the new friends he'd make and impress, whether or not he'd be top of the class and if it would be possible to make the house Quidditch team on a school broom or if he could sneak his own in.

Growing up in the middle of nowhere could be lonely and though he knew a few other witches and wizards his age, he didn't know any very well. Certainly, he worried about making friends the most, not really knowing how to do that, which was obviously dumb because there was nothing that he'd tried before that he couldn't do. So he'd take his mum's advice and start by being kind.

All thoughts of challenges that lay ahead however were forgotten when his dad, Fleamont, suggested around a mouthful of bacon that the next day they would go to Diagon Alley to buy his new books and robes… and maybe even – James hoped – a new broomstick.

"YES! Diagon Alley tomorrow and the Hogwarts Express in September. I can't wait. Gryffindor here I come! Hogwarts had better watch out!" he yelled joyfully.

"You'd better watch out young man," warned his mum, Euphemia, "be careful to make sure you don't brag too much and not to make any enemies. And don't talk while you're eating!"

"Yes mum."

…

Sirius had always thought during the eleven miserable years of his existence that there could be no house more dismal to grow up in than No.12 Grimmauld Place. Walking down the grand stairs, past the severed heads of old house elves and into the stately drawing room, he could see no evidence that might prove otherwise.

Kreacher poked him roughly in the back, "Hurry up now Master Sirius. Don't keep the Mistress waiting, she's most impatient this morning."

Sirius sighed, he had no idea what he'd done this time but when he glanced back uncertainly at his little brother Regulus trailing behind, he got only an amused smirk in return.

Nothing looked good about this situation, if Regulus looked happy then Sirius could only be in trouble. He still winced every time he thought about the beating he'd received last week for stealing a slice of pie from the pantry after he'd been sent to bed without supper. And he'd only been sent to bed early because Regulus had blackmailed him into pretending it was him who'd gotten mud tracked down the hall and into the kitchen. He'd had no choice, otherwise Regulus would have snitched, telling their parents that Sirius had sneaked out to play with some muggle kids from down the road. The punishment for that would have been even worse.

"Don't stop moving now! They're in the drawing room," another poke.

Regulus and Kreacher. Both, he swore, sent by Merlin's evil twin to spy on him for his mother.

"Ah Sirius," Orion Black was standing by the fireplace, "glad you _finally_ got here. A letter arrived for you today. Do you know where it is from?"

"No father," he replied nervously.

"It's your Hogwarts acceptance letter!" Walburga shrieked (with joy?), "Sirius, I can't tell you just how pleased I am that you're not a lowly squib after all, with such shame you would have brought on all the family. It would've been as awful as if a Black chose to marry a filthy mudblood instead of one of superior status such as ourselves."

"Yes mother," he'd always known he was magical, never once thought he was a squib but still it would be nice that was one less name his parents would call him. They'd been suspicious ever since he was about six years old but that was just because he'd learnt to control his magic early. Not suppress, but control – any accident that leads to a black eye, bruised ribs and an almost broken nose at that age by the hands of your own father tends to teach you that.

He'd also learnt to control his tongue around that age too. If you're a Black you _just don't_ mention – or preferably even think – that muggles are ok. But at least it was just his Hogwarts letter, nothing he could be in trouble about and once he was at school he could at least have his own opinions.

"Just so long as he makes Slytherin," Orion cautioned sternly, "as long as he makes Slytherin everything will be fine.

Walburga nodded in agreement.

That was another thing about being a Black that Sirius disliked, you had to be in Slytherin or there'd be hell to pay. And the talking as if he wasn't even there, yeah, his parents did that a lot too. But it was safest just to agree so he muttered, "Ok."

"What was that boy?" his father demanded angrily, taking a threatening step forward.

Sirius flinched but met his eyes for the first time since he'd come into the room, "Yes sir."

"Very good. Go now. Kreacher will fetch you for supper."

…

Remus hardly knew what was happening. One minute the doorbell rang – which was unusual enough because none of their new neighbours were very friendly and all of their old friends lived hours away because they weren't connected to the Floo Network here. Five minutes later he was sitting opposite the headmaster of Hogwarts (really?), eating toasted crumpets and playing Gobstones with him. And to top all of that off, he might be able to go to Hogwarts!

"Are you really Professor Dumbledore?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes Remus, I am," Dumbledore chuckled.

"And will I really be able to go to Hogwarts?" he believed that even less.

"I think so yes," he confirmed.

"Really! Oh, thank you sir!" but just then a gobstone squirted him in the eye with slime and he started with surprise. The sudden movement caused some of the deeper scratches from last week's full moon to re-open and he winced.

"Are you alright Remus?" asked Dumbledore, concerned.

He nodded, embarrassed. Normally he was shy and very quiet unlike a moment ago, and the unexpected pain dampened his excitement. He was reminded of the huge risk that going to Hogwarts would be.

Half an hour later Dumbledore was almost ready to leave. He'd discussed with Remus' parents some ideas about his safety on the full moon – none of which thankfully included the Forbidden Forest – while Remus had sat and listened.

Then Dumbledore turned to him, "It will of course be up to you whether or not you wish to tell any friends you make of your condition. I'm sure I, at least, will support you if do choose to do so for secrets such as these are a heavy burden to bear alone. Be careful though, I know you're aware of the many common prejudices against werewolves but you must be sure you completely trust any confidantes. Do you understand?"

Remus nodded vigorously, "Yes Professor, I understand."

He would worry about his monthly transformations later, for now though he would revel in the fact that he could go to school and learn!


	3. Chapter 3

**3\. The Sorting**

Lily gazed up at the enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall in awe; she had never seen so many stars before. The entire journey to Hogwarts had been incredible although walking through a brick wall was scary at first. Then there were the Chocolate Frogs – that actually hopped around! – on the train and now there were candles floating just above her head! There was magic everywhere and it was a bit intimidating.

But she and Sev were off on this big adventure they'd been dreaming of the past year since they'd met and she couldn't wait. Of course, it hadn't started out perfectly, Lily roughly swiped away a tear with the back of her hand as she remembered the fight she'd had with Petunia on the platform. She'd never meant to hurt her but she _wasn't_ a freak. She wasn't! She could hardly believe that Petunia really thought that but then she knew Petunia had called Sev a freak before too so she wasn't really that surprised. Just upset and confused about how to put this right. Lily loved her sister but she wasn't so sure how much Petunia loved her.

Then Professor McGonagall placed a raggedy old hat on a stool and began to explain how the sorting would work. What she didn't mention was that the hat would break out into song first.

 _Hogwarts magic school  
Built a thousand years ago,  
By four great sorcerers of the time  
To teach us all they know.  
First comes sly Slytherin!  
Followed by brave Gryffindor!  
Kind Hufflepuff is the next!  
The last of course smart Ravenclaw!  
And I am Godric's Sorting Hat,  
I'll sort out where you go.  
Which House is the best for you  
But that's not all I know.  
Be proud of each your Houses,  
Do for them all you can  
But beware the divides that Sorting  
Creates between man and man.  
So to each of you sitting here tonight  
Your choices are your own,  
Your fate lies in your own two hands  
Yet the future remains unknown.  
So protect your friends  
And beware the dark.  
Careful at every turn  
But for now we're safe at Hogwarts,  
Where the Sorting will shortly start!_

The Great Hall burst into applause when the Hat finished and Lily joined in, though she did see some of the teachers nodded along gravely with what seemed like a warning from the Hat. She couldn't bring herself to think on it to long though because Professor McGonagall had pulled out a thick scroll of parchment and was starting to call out names to come and put the hat on.

"Abbott, William."

"HUFFLEPUFF" the hat announced to lots of cheering from that table.

Lily missed the next name but then, "Black, Sirius."

"GRYFFINDOR!" but while three houses cheered, she noticed that the Slytherin table had fallen strangely silent. Sirius smiled defiantly at first but then she saw his face go very pale.

"Bones, Edgar."

"RAVENCLAW!"

And then a couple names later, "Evans, Lily."

She sat hesitantly on the stool and waited for the hat to be placed on her head but no sooner had she heard a quick whisper in her ear ("Oh well there's really no question at all here, is there?") that made her jump, the hat yelled, "GRYFFINDOR!"

Lily hurried to the table and sat next to the boy Sirius. She recognised him as one of the boys on the train from the first compartment she and Sev had sat in. He hadn't been very nice then but she remembered her mum saying to give everyone a fair chance so she introduced herself. Then she remembered Sev. She doubted he'd want to be in Gryffindor just for her, even if she was secretly glad she wasn't in Slytherin. She caught his eye across the room from where he stood still waiting to be sorted and gave him a half smile as he stared sadly back.

Suddenly almost all the new first years had been sorted and there were several more girls and boys at the Gryffindor table. Then she heard the call for, "Snape, Severus."

"SLYTHERIN!"

Her heart sank, disappointed, but at least they would still have some lessons together, even if that other rude boy from the train, James Potter, was also in Gryffindor. Sev was her guide in the magical world and she couldn't really see what difference the houses would make, nothing could come between their friendship.

…

Severus barely heard the cheers as he walked numbly to his table. How could he and Lily possibly be in different houses? Surely there must be a mistake. He glared up at the various teachers sitting at their table, why couldn't they have interfered and put it right? It was only a dumb hat after all.

Knowing what he did of the magical world and Hogwarts, Severus had always had a natural instinct that he'd be in Slytherin. There'd never been any question of that so Lily would just have to move houses. He didn't know how he'd survive without his best friend by his side.

But deep down he knew that Lily would never have been sorted into Slytherin and while he wished it otherwise he knew this was right. Resigned to the inevitable Severus decided he would have to try and make some more friends. Digging into the feast along with the rest of school, he looked up and down the table about to strike up conversation with another first year when a ghost squeezed in between the two, forcing them apart.

The sensation of being touched by the ghost caused him to shudder so much, he hardly even noticed the alarming ectoplasmic stains of blood covering much of his clothes. Looking up to the ceiling, Severus saw many more of the resident Hogwarts ghosts swoop around overhead. They called out happily to the students and surrounded by magic as he was, he couldn't help but have his mood lifted a little.

…

James was just reaching for the last slice of treacle tart when a small freckled hand snatched it from beneath his nose, "Hey!" he complained, looking around for the thief. His eyes landed upon the red-headed girl from the train who was friends with that greasy haired boy who was now in Slytherin.

She met his eyes at his outburst and stared back defiantly, daring him to protest further. He couldn't help but grinning in response and also unable to back down from her obvious challenge, continued, "That slice was mine."

"Sorry," she shrugged. She didn't sound very sorry. She took a bite and smiled to herself, clearly enjoying the delicious dessert.

James almost chose to let it go but he noticed that she was very pretty. Her eyes were a brilliant, sparkling green and… 'ugh!' he thought, what was he thinking? Girls weren't pretty or anything. At best they left you alone and at worst they were whiny and pathetic. Still, he reasoned, none of those things applied to the girl sitting across from him and he very much wanted to keep talking to her, "So, um… what's your name?" he started simple.

"Lily Evans," she replied, still savouring her – no _his_ – treacle tart, "What's yours?"

"James Potter," he replied, "You were in our compartment at the start of the train journey, weren't you?"

"Yes. You weren't very nice to Sev though."

"He weren't very nice to me either," he retorted quickly.

"I suppose," she admitted.

"Say Lily, I don't suppose you'd give me a bite of your treacle tart, would you? Since you stole the last piece and all?"

Lily hesitated, staring at him suspiciously, "Just a bite," she warned. Using the side of her fork she carefully cut a small bite from the rest of the larger slice and held her plate up, offering it to him.

He couldn't help but tease a bit and allowed his fork to hover over the bigger bit, her bit, as if he were going to take that instead. However, the moment he did she quickly yanked her plate away, almost yelling, "Oi, Potter! That's my bit. I said you could have a bite, _not_ the rest of my pudding!"

But as she'd yanked the plate away, both pieces of tart went flying through the air, hitting Sirius as they went. Lily glared at James, visibly blaming him for the loss of her pudding, "You… you just… my tre… how dar…" she shut her mouth, speechless with rage.

James put his hands in the air in mock surrender and grinned, "Alright Evans? What's wrong? I didn't do nothing."

Just then one of pieces of tart came flying back at him, hitting him square in the face. He spluttered indignantly and saw Sirius smirking from his place next to Lily, "Never assume you can throw food at people without expecting retaliation."

"I wouldn't dream of it," James assured him and picking up a roast potato, lobbed it back in the direction of the black-haired boy.

The situation quickly devolved into a fully-fledged food fight with vegetables, roast chicken legs and even a few cupcakes flying everywhere. A couple other new Gryffindor boys – a tall boy with shabby robes and a thin scar running down one side of his face and a small plump boy whose feet, James doubted, even reached the floor from where he sat on the bench – had also joined in after being accidental victims to James and Sirius' first few shots.

At some point during the melee James noticed Lily rolling her eyes and turning to talk to the girl sitting on her other side but he was quickly distracted again by Sirius flicking peas at him, one at a time, with his fork.

The fight didn't end until Professor Dumbledore's magically magnified voice rung out across the Great Hall, calling for silence and attention from all the young witches and wizards.

"To our new students, welcome. And to our old students welcome back. Now that we are satisfyingly full with delicious food, I have a few announcements before we all have a deep sleep to prepare ourselves for lessons tomorrow."

He paused, surveying the attentive pupils and continued, "To start, all first-year students should know that the Forbidden Forest is strictly out of bounds at all times, as is the wizarding village of Hogsmeade to any student under the third year."

"And now please join me in welcoming our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Dreadnought," there was a short applause as the teacher briefly stood and took a short bow, "and finally, our caretaker Mr Filch has asked me to remind you all that _all_ magic is banned in corridors and the list of banned items, which can be viewed in full on the door of his office, has now reached the grand total of 659 as Trailing Trip-Wires and Dancing Door-Stoppers have been added."

"Well it's getting late so off to bed with the lot of you! Cheerio then, hurry up now and lights out soon! I expect you down here all bright eyes and cheery smiles in the morning, eager for the learning to begin!"

Dumbledore waved them out of the hall and James wearily followed a prefect up the moving stairs and behind a painting to the Gryffindor common room and dorms. Waving goodnight to Lily, he and Sirius began the ascent of a small spiral staircase before collapsing onto adjacent beds. They quickly fell asleep without even changing their clothes – exhausted from the long train ride and food fight.


	4. Chapter 4

**4\. Magic School**

Early the next morning, Lily sat on her bed in the dorm she shared with the four other first-year girls in Gryffindor. She was already dressed in the new house specific uniform that was provided but she didn't want to go down to breakfast alone so she was waiting for the others.

As Lily waited, she stroked the purring cat stretched out in front of her as she studied the timetable she'd found on her bedside-table. She'd kind of wanted to get an owl but Petunia had freaked at the idea so she had a cat instead. None of the lessons on she timetable were anything like the ones in normal schools.

"Hey Lily, you ready to go?"

She looked up at Marlene distractedly, "Huh?"

"Stop staring at your timetable and come get some breakfast," Marlene insistec impatiently.

Lily quickly shoved the timetable back into her bag and jumped up, unfortunately also disturbing her now very disgruntled cat in the process, "Coming."

…

On the way down to the Great Hall the five young girls almost got lost at every corner; the corridors of Hogwarts seemed endless until they split into at least seven directions all at once. They reached the staircases quickly but soon found that each of the 142 separate stairs had a mind of its own, moving without warning and making it impossible to navigate their way down to breakfast.

…

The Gryffindors shared Herbology, the first class of the day, with the Hufflepuffs. Professor Kale started with instructions about always wearing their protective gloves and staying out of reach of the Venomous Tentacula before they all opened their copies of One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi to page 3.

Lily stared at the moving illustration of the Bouncing Beans they were going to pick, "The picture's moving," she whispered in awe.

Dorcas laughed quietly at her, "All pictures move in the wizarding world. Didn't you notice the portraits in the castle? They've all been smiling and waving at us?"

"No. I was concentrating on the stairs swinging about at random and the doors that weren't actually doors."

Then Sirius Black leaned across the table towards them, "Paintings and photos don't move in the muggle world? That's so cool!"

"Really," Potter butted into their conversation, "seems rather boring to me."

Lily ignored him and focused on Professor Kale explaining how to open the bean pods.

…

The last lesson of the day was Charms, which was also with the Hufflepuffs. Professor Flitwick looked hardly taller than 4ft, not including the large pile of heavy-looking leather-bound books he was teetering rather dangerously on top of as he addressed the class. Lily carefully copied down all the notes on wand movements from the blackboard where the chalk was writing by itself.

Fifteen minutes before the end of the lesson, Professor Flitwick decided they were ready to try a simple charm. She still found it hard to believe that a flick of her wrist and one word would light up the end of her wand. Still, Mr. Ollivander in Diagon Alley had said that her long willow wand would be good for charm work.

Lily could hardly sit still with excitement, she was about to cast her very first spell.

…

Lily sat with Sev the next day in Potions. Professor Slughorn had them making a Wart-Vanishing potion. It was very easy, already half the way through the lesson and they were way ahead of everyone else even as they exchanged stories of the first day.

Soon all of the ingredients were added and the potion only needed to simmer for another couple minutes while she steadily stirred it in a clockwise direction. Sev had kindly offered to tidy away the spare ingredients.

Lily was reading the more detailed explanations of the reactions within the potion at the bottom of the textbook's page as she stirred and was suddenly struck by inspiration. But just as she moved to stir once anti-clockwise, Sev grabbed her wrist, "What are you doing?" he asked panicked, "we don't want this to explode or melt the cauldron."

Marlene had already told Lily she took too many notes in class but if Lily was hard-working and wanted good grades then Severus was obsessed. Knowing this she gently shook off his grip, pointed to the page and explained, "All the ingredients have been added and have neutralised each other so it's basically ready and nothing else will happen but it's meant to be a matt green. You see where the surface is still shimmering?... that's the ground mermaid scales which is only needed to take the sting out for when you use it. But it's not properly mixed through yet. Stirring it in the same direction is just making it into a pretty spiral…"

"… but if you stir it the other way then it will be forced to mix in and dissolve. Brilliant!" Sev finished for her.

"Exactly," she giggled while finally adding the extra stir anti-clockwise, "no need to stick exactly to the rules but I guess that's just the magic you've been taught already."

"No," he argued, "my mum hardly sticks to most magical rules and conventions. It's just that she doesn't adjust what she already knows, she creates stuff completely new from scratch."

Just then Professor Slughorn waddled over to see how they were getting on and bent his balding head over their cauldron. He smiled warmly at the pair, "Well this is just marvellous. Perfectly brewed and with time to spare. 10 points apiece to Gryffindor and Slytherin."

Lily and Sev grinned at each other while the Professor boomed at the rest of the class who were huddled in small groups around potions either producing copious amounts of black smoke or smelling like rotten eggs, "Good effort everyone. Now please put out all the fires and come take a look at this potion here, which is what you were all aiming for. And while I have your attention, homework is half a piece of parchment on the properties of all the ingredients you have used today, due in next week. And for those of you who succeeded in melting your cauldrons, another half side on different ways that can happen and how to avoid it. Class is dismissed."

As Lily filed out of the door she saw Professor Slughorn clap a hand on Potter's shoulder, "Better luck next time m' boy. I'm sure your father's talent is in there somewhere."

Behind her Sev sniggered.

Potter and his friends had been the ones to melt the cauldron, in fact his face was still quite red although Black only looked bored. Remus Lupin looked mildly irritated and Peter Pettigrew had been staring at something fascinating on the floor ever since the accident ten minutes into the lesson.

Lily hurried up the dungeon stairs and looked questioningly at Marlene, confused about Slughorn's comment to Potter.

"James' dad invented the Sleakeazy's Hair Potion which pretty much doubled the family's fortune," she explained.

…

Despite having the first double free on Wednesday, all of the first year Gryffindors were very tired because Astronomy had been at midnight the night before. And Potter, for no other apparent reason but boredom, had folded his constellation chart into a paper airplane and hit Lily directly in the ear with it.

Now though, Lily was sat with Mary in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Marlene and Dorcas were sat immediately behind them and to Lily's left Alice was paired up with Frank Longbottom, the fifth occupant of the boy's dormitory. DADA was the only lesson other than Astronomy that they didn't share with any of the other houses.

Their Professor apparently was a retired Auror – a dark wizard fighter according to Sev – who appeared to hate retirement and teaching and wanted to go back to risking his life every other day. At the moment however, he was lecturing them on the power and different kinds of wand magic: charms, jinxes, hexes, spells and curses.

At the end of the lesson he promised they would start practising a couple of jinxes the next day and Lily swore that Alice was so excited she would stand up on her chair and do a happy dance.

…

The final lesson of Thursday was Flying. Lily couldn't wait to finally climb on a broom and zoom over the Forbidden Forest or slalom around the Hogwarts towers and turrets. She just hoped today wouldn't be cancelled like most of Tuesday's lesson was after the disaster of Sirius Black hopping on a broom, rising three metres into the air and then dramatically sliding off the front and falling to the ground after trying to dive back down. He'd landed on his head and concussed himself.

After Mr. Boeing gave them the go ahead, she stepped up to the old wonky broomstick and said "UP!"

Lily was shocked that it worked. She'd been worried nothing would happen but the broom was in her hand and she was one of the only seven people who'd succeeded. Marlene also had a broom in her hand as well as Frank, Potter (although his broom looked suspiciously shiny and straight) and a couple of Slytherins she didn't know. Sev, standing to her right was glaring at the broom that had hardly even twitched on the ground beside him.

Flying was even more amazing than she expected it to be! Lily doubted she was particularly graceful but the wind in her face, whipping her hair around, and the sensation of weightlessness was so exhilarating she didn't care.

They had to stay above the grass between this side of the castle and lake – that was where Mr. Boeing had cast the cushioning spell if any of them fell – and not fly any higher than ten metres or so but she hardly noticed the constraints. It felt so good to know that once again being a muggle-born didn't put her behind in lessons, especially since flying was easily one of the things she'd been most excited about since Sev told her about Hogwarts. She wondered what Quidditch was like.

Of course, not all the students were finding it as easy to control their brooms. Poor Peter Pettigrew was wobbling along with barely an inch between his toes and the grass! And Sirius still had both feet planted firmly on the ground, broomstick abandoned by his side. He was stood in front of the flying teacher passionately explaining with lots of animated gestures exactly why he shouldn't have to fly ever again. Lily doubted he'd stopped talking for ten minutes straight by now and Mr. Boeing looked as unimpressed as he did at the start.

Sirius staying on the ground really did seem safer though. Not that he didn't cause chaos wherever he went. Lily lost focus on her own flying for a second and a gust of wind almost knocked her sideways. Potter was showing off again as her pulled up alongside her sharply, "Alright Evans?"

She looked at him askance, wondering what he wanted. Why oh why did he have to be the best at flying? He'd been bragging about it all week and she'd wished that he'd be proved wrong. Unfortunately, though, it seemed as if he did have some skill and talent to brag about. Not that she'd admit it aloud.

"You're really good you know? Considering this is the first time you've ever flown. Are you going to try out for the Quidditch team?"

"Why thank you 'One and Only Supreme Expert on all Things Quidditch'. But I'd actually already figured out myself that I don't suck. And no, I don't think I'll try out. After all I've heard of your wonderful talents, I'm sure I stand no chance," she retorted.

Potter gaped at her, "I… um, er… you know, that's really not fair. I was just trying to be nice. And I've grown up a wizard, I probably do know more about Quidditch than you."

"But not everyone in our year. Besides I know enough, and I would hope for your sake that your head isn't used as a Quaffle in the first match, but then again it would be rather entertaining."

"Why in Merlin's name would my head be used as a Quaffle?"

"Because you're an egotistical prat and one day very soon your big spoilt head is going to become so inflated with ridiculous lies that only you could ever believe that it's just going to detach itself from your scrawny body and float off into space where it's never going to be seen or heard from ever again!"

Lily didn't know why Potter got on her nerves so much but he did and maybe she shouldn't get so irritated but it's not like anything she just said wasn't true. He was gaping at her again, ok maybe she had overreacted a bit.

Suddenly he looked away and flew off angrily without saying a word. She paused and watched him go. Then she wished she hadn't because he did a loop-the-loop that turned him upside down before he stopped without warning and span around. He shot towards her like a bullet, clipping the tail of her and Sev's – who'd been following at a more cautious pace – brooms with his as he went, spinning them both out of control.

…

After dinner, Lily and Sev trudged up to the library to get started on their increasing pile of homework. There didn't seem to many places in the castle where a Gryffindor and a Slytherin could hang out but the library was one of them.

As they went, they complained about Potter and the earlier incident during Flying.

"I mean what I said was a bit unfair, and he actually is good at flying," she reasoned, feeling a bit guilty.

"Don't make excuses for him Lily. He's a jerk and crashing into us like that is really dangerous. Besides, maybe he is good at flying but that doesn't mean he's good at all the other stuff he brags about. I mean, he melted his cauldron!" Sev was adamant.

Lily nodded agreeing.

"And seriously, who cares how many bathrooms there are in his house?!" he continued.

She giggled. Sev always knew how to make her feel better and soon they'd be hidden among the never-ending rows and rows and rows of books filled with fascinating magic she'd never dreamed existed.

…

Transfiguration was James' favourite subject, after flying of course. Both were easy, maybe he just had a knack for McGonagall's subject where he had a humiliatingly apparent lack of skill in Potions, which Slughorn was obviously disappointed about. He desperately hoped his father wouldn't hear about that before he had a chance to redeem himself.

"Potter… Potter… James Potter! You will answer me this instant!"

He blinked rapidly, daydream forgotten, and stared up at the strictest teacher in the school, "Yes Professor?"

"Why aren't you turning your matchstick into a needle, Mr. Potter?" Professor McGonagall pressed.

"Because I could do that on two days ago Professor," he explained, "it's too easy and boring now."

"Very well. You can go and help the other students who are struggling and on Monday I expect you to be paying full attention to the next spell we are learning. You may have a good grasp of the practical part of this class but your explanation of the theory in your notes here _(she pointed at the parchment on his desk)_ is abysmal."

"Yes, Professor McGonagall," he agreed.

The moment she turned her back he thwacked a sniggering Sirius on the arm with said notes.

"Ouch! What was that for?" he exclaimed indignantly.

"You were laughing at me!" James accused.

"Yeah. So…"

"Mr. Potter and Mr. Black," McGonagall called from the front, "kindly stop disrupting the rest of the class.

James turned to Remus despairingly, "Do I have to help people? I mean, who do I even help? You lot basically have the hang of it now, _even Peter_ , and the rest of the class are Ravenclaws!"

"What about the girls?" asked Remus, pointing to Marlene who was muttering under her breath as the matchstick stubbornly remained a matchstick.

"Yeah ok."

…

"Alright Evans?" James asked cheerily as he swung himself into the seat opposite her. He'd decided to forget about the argument they'd had yesterday. When she didn't look up he tugged on one of her braids – childishness be damned.

"What do you want Potter?"

"Well, now you mention it, what I really want is…" he trailed off as he noticed her exasperated expression. He sighed, "McGonagall told me to help anyone who was finding the spell hard and I thought you might want a few pointers."

"No thanks," Lily shook her head, "I've almost got the hang of it."

"Really? 'Cause to me it looks like you're moving your wand too fast. You have to really focus on what you want each part of the matchstick to look like when it's a needle. See?" James waved his wand and said the spell, "Acus."

The matchstick started to change and he looked up pleased to find the fiery redhead glaring at him.

"What have I done now?" he asked nervously.

Lily's voice was still icy, "Doing my spells for me won't help me learn and also you've made it worse."

"What are going on about?"

She looked pointedly down at her desk. Oh! Rather than transfiguring into a needle the matchstick had caught fire and then set alight all of her neatly copied theory notes.

"I was just trying to help," James defended himself.

"I don't think I'm the one who needs help right now. Unless you know a spell for putting out fires?" she rolled her eyes as he shook his head and hastily retreated to his own seat where he ignored the prods in his shoulder until they started getting painful, "What Sirius?"

Sirius grinned unapologetically as James rubbed his arm, "First please turn your death glare back to the desk. I don't fancy also being scorched to a crisp today. And second, what in the name of Merlin's saggy left… _(he stopped, glanced at McGonagall and seemingly decided it wasn't worth finishing that thought aloud)_ was that?"

He stared blankly, "What was what?"

"What was that with Evans?"

James whispered back furiously, "I don't know! I could do the spell fine five minutes ago. And yesterday she called me scrawny and egotistical! I mean, is that even a real word that first years know?"

"I know," said Remus affronted.

"Yeah, but mate, you read," Sirius dismissed him quickly.

"And so does Lily," continued Remus.

James interrupted, "But scrawny!..."

"Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew, I would like to remind you that I have no qualms taking points from my own house if I have to. You will work in silence for the rest of the lesson unless you wish to lose five points each."

…

Lily was still so fuming about Potter as she walked into History of Magic that she hardly even batted an eye when Professor Binns chose to float through the wall directly next to the door rather than deign to use the door itself.

The old ghost's lesson was rather boring but she took notes and only rolled her eyes once when she noticed Potter and Black playing hangman instead. Soon the day and the end of her first week at Hogwarts would be over. Lily was glad. Hogwarts was like a home away from home, she wasn't a freak here, but she missed her family's little cottage in Cokeworth more than she could say.

…

At dinner, the Gryffindor girls were sitting near the boys but were thankfully being left alone. The Great Hall was filled with the lively chatter – and numerous complaints about homework – of students ready for the weekend after a long first week back. Lily and her new friends laughed about nothing in particular as they hungrily devoured the steaming lasagne followed by apple crumble with custard. One thing at Hogwarts that wasn't too different from the muggle world was food, something Lily thought she would be eternally grateful for.

"So, what happened in Transfiguration today?" Dorcas looked curious.

"Huh?" she asked unintelligibly around a big mouthful of crumble.

"Between you and James. And the argument yesterday," she pressed insistently.

"Oh that. He was a being a prat so I told him so and then I told him that one day his head would detach and float off into space because his ego was so inflated," Lily explained simply.

Marlene, Alice, Dorcas and Mary burst into laughter.

"Ssssshhhh," Lily begged, "I don't want Potter to know what we're laughing about. Not that I feel bad anymore since I have to rewrite my transfiguration notes."

The laughter petered out slowly into the occasional giggle.

"That's priceless! You know that right, Lily?" exclaimed Alice.

She nodded smiling slightly.

"What did James say back?" Marlene wanted to know.

"Nothing. He flew away and then came back to crash into the tail of my broom. I almost fell off."

"He didn't!" Mary gasped.

"But you didn't fall. Proves you're a better flyer than him any day," proclaimed Alice triumphantly.

Just then the Hogwarts Ghosts swooped down from the enchanted ceiling making the floating candles flicker. Nearly Headless Nick glided to a stop right next to Lily and she had to stop herself from shuddering slightly.

"How's everyone's first week been?" he asked the first years.

Everyone else shrugged in response but Lily actually had a question she'd been waiting to ask him all week. She didn't think any of her friends would actually give a useful answer and Professor McGonagall was still mildly terrifying.

"Hi Sir Nicholas, can you answer me something?"

"It's not 'can you show us your nearly severed head hanging by just a bit of skin and showing lots of splintered bone and blood?' is it?"

"No, I was just wondering if you could explain why Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and especially Gryffindor all seem to hate Slytherin?"

That caught all the first years' attention, even Potter and Black's little gang. Lily could see that Nick was quite gratified by the attention he was getting.

"Yes well. It all started with the four founders of Hogwarts. Salazar Slytherin thought that the school should only be open to students with purely magical ancestry but the others believed that anyone magical should be able to come and learn here so Salazar left and the rivalry began.

"This belief in pure-blood supremacy is still held by many of the wizarding population today and most of them were Slytherins while at school here. Now comes the presumption by almost everyone else that all Slytherins hold this belief which is incorrect. All the houses uphold different characteristics as the most important and Slytherin is meant to stand for resourcefulness or ambition for example, not an out-dated ideology believed only by the old 'pure-blood' families. Personally, I believe you should strive to have all of the characteristics even as some are naturally stronger in you than others.

"So, the ancient rivalry has continued, led by those who fight for muggle-born and muggle rights. And, I think also because the houses think they're meant to dislike Slytherins just because everyone always has. If you look at Quidditch matches, between any other houses the matches are competitive but still relatively friendly but never against Slytherin. If you think the Slytherins don't like you then that's probably because they're often classed as the outsiders first.

"Recently, the belief in pure-blood supremacy has been growing stronger again, there's even a movement for it, quite a radical one at that. It's led by an unknown wizard, at least by most people, and few names are known. The group's associated with dark magic too and there were even a couple of attacks on muggle-borns this summer, thankfully no one died. The Ministry's doing what they can but they're pretty useless if you ask me. I'm sure Dumbledore has his suspicions though.

"Dark magic is another thing. Most of the well-known dark wizards in Britain's history have been Slytherins. The house's reputation has been created only by a few but is shouldered by all. There is increasing conflict at the moment between wizards with these strong opposing beliefs and I've been dead long enough to have a hunch that it's only going to get worse.

"Unfortunately, yes, many Slytherins do hold views that you may find abhorrent but you must be careful not to believe that all Slytherins are like that or are inherently evil. Miss Evans, I know you are muggle-born and I advise you to be cautious but that advice would be well heeded by all you here," Nick looked around gravely at the rapt students, not only first-years were listening now.

"One day you might find yourself in need of a friend you spurned long ago because of an old prejudice, you might find yourself a hypocrite. Judge every individual on their merits and failings alone, no one is the way you think they are. Facing adversity is so much easier when united against it, even if you must join forces with an unlikely ally. You would all do well to remember that."


	5. Chapter 5

**5\. Confrontation**

BANG! The pack of Exploding Snap blew up again. Even though it was the third round, Lily still couldn't help but flinch every time. It was Saturday night and so far, she had lost all the games but now she was hopefully getting the hang of it so the others had better watch out. At least after they all stopped laughing at her for the trillionth time.

"What?" she asked, "Exploding Snap cannot be this funny."

"No, but your reaction to it is," Marlene was rolling around on the floor of their dorm.

"And not just to this. To everything magical," Alice added with twinkling eyes.

"What about your weird friend in Slytherin? Didn't he tell you about Exploding Snap?" Mary joined the fun.

"Sev isn't weird," Lily defended her best friend hotly.

"You gotta admit Lily, he's a bit creepy," insisted Dorcas.

"No, I don't. And weren't you listening to Nick yesterday? Give him a chance," she pleaded.

"Ok," Marlene agreed grudgingly, "…but he's gotta wash his hair first."

Lily glared at her.

…

James and Sirius were already late to detention and it was hardly even nine on a Sunday morning. Apparently gifting Peeves a pot of ink when he asks for one was a punishable offence at Hogwarts. Even more irritating than being at school for only a week and already having detention was that Filch, the school caretaker, was going to be supervising them. James honestly thought that three hours with Filch was a worse punishment than cleaning up the trophy room was going to be. At least they hadn't lost any house points.

"Hurry up mate, we're going to be late," Sirius called over his shoulder.

"We're already late," James pointed out as started towards the entrance of the courtyard, "but if we cut through here we'd be less late."

"No way," Sirius pointed to the dismally grey sky, "there's no way I'm going out there when a downpour's starting any second."

"But…"

"NO! Think of my hair James, think of my hair and don't make me do that!" (James swore that Sirius cared more about his hair than all the girls at Hogwarts combined and he didn't have the slightest idea why.) He caught hold of James' sleeve and began dragging him quickly down the corridor that looped the courtyard, "Come on, sprint you great heffalump, we don't have much time unless you want another hour added to the torture already waiting!"

James gave up protesting and sprinted after his friend … right into Lily and Snape, knocking their books to the ground as they went.

Skidding to a stop around the next corner, he tried to turn back to apologise and help pick up the heavy books. But Sirius grabbed his sleeve again and continued pulling him in the opposite direction.

"Hey! Let me go. We should go back."

"Nope. We're late – not that I care obviously – while Little Miss Teachers' Pet and that slimy git are off on an un-understandably voluntary trip to the library, otherwise known as the deepest, darkest depths of hell."

He rolled his eyes at his melodramatic mate, "Don't call them that."

"Why do you care?"

James suddenly felt self-conscious, he didn't know why he cared. Perhaps because Snape was friends with Lily and he wasn't, but he wanted to be so much. Snape had also laughed at him in Potions. He couldn't say that to Sirius though, besides Lily obviously didn't want to be friends so maybe he should stop trying so hard, "I don't."

"Good. Last one to the trophy room has to carry the other's bag the whole of tomorrow," Sirius turned on his heel and fled before James realised what he said and sprinted after him.

…

Severus glared at the retreating backs of Potter and Black. They didn't look back once. What was it about being popular without even trying that made people arrogant and attention-seeking. Or was that just the definition of people who were easily liked and admired by others and wasn't it just so unfair that no one who was actually a decent person was well liked (Lily excluded of course). Also, how on earth did everyone already know their names? They'd all only been at school a week for Merlin's sake! Even Severus' own dorm-mates had barely glanced at him twice.

"Come on Sev, we have Potions homework," Lily's quiet voice interrupted his internal tirade, "those morons aren't worth wasting time over."

He bent down to pass her the books she'd dropped and smiled. Lily was his only friend but he thought that as long as she was, everything would be alright.

…

Severus and Lily decided, unlike Potter and Black, that the weather would probably hold for another minute as they hastily crossed the courtyard.

They would have been right if only the entrance to the covered corridor on the opposite side wasn't suddenly blocked by a group of sixth and seventh years. Severus swallowed nervously as he recognised Lucius Malfoy, one of Slytherin's seventh year prefects.

"Looks as if the rumours were true after all," Narcissa Black exclaimed mockingly, "one of our own is mistakenly wasting his time with a nasty little magic-stealing mudblood."

Lily shrank back under the scornful glares but didn't look away. Severus would have been proud of her courage if it didn't hurt so much that she probably didn't even know just how offensive the insult was.

"Don't call her that," he didn't particularly want to make enemies of students he had no chance of defending himself against but years of experience had taught him that this was yet another situation that he was powerless to prevent. Hogwarts was meant to be safe, a chance to grow and learn how to use his own power but how could he when after only a week someone new was about to put another leash on his independence.

The smart thing to do would be to say nothing, to cooperate. But this was Lily and he'd never abandon her. She was too innocent, too pure. Perhaps not magically but in a completely good and uncorrupted way. Severus would never understand some of the things that hurt her but he would protect her from everything he did. It was why he hadn't told her the ugly truths about the Wizarding World before, about the growing movements and groups that were anti-muggleborn. He'd wanted to keep the pain of discrimination she'd surely experience at their hands from her for as long as possible. It seemed that opinions even within Hogwarts were stronger than he'd realised.

"Why not?" demanded one of the other boys, "it's what she is."

"Quiet. Now Snape, I think you might find it… beneficial to walk away. We won't hold it against you for being young, misguided and so obviously under her spell against your will but the next time you're found together we won't be quite so lenient," Lucius sounded impossibly condescending.

"Besides if you're going to sneak around with girls, don't pick one with carrot-coloured hair," added Narcissa spitefully.

Severus bristled again in indignation on Lily's behalf. He thought her deep red hair was the most beautiful thing about her other than her eyes. But now he saw that Lily was glaring back at the older girl, apparently, she was much more familiar with this particular brand of insult. Her hand was in her pocket, probably fisted around her wand. He desperately hoped she wouldn't do anything to provoke them. They were so out of their depth, they might as well be standing on the bed of the Great Lake, without a Bubble-Head Charm and with half a dozen merpeople jabbing at them with tridents.

Lily's voice was quiet but defiant, "Excuse me, but Sev and I were just on our way to the library to do our Potions homework. Unless prefects are allowed to take points for students from different houses studying together would you kindly let us be on our way and then we could also be out of yours," then she looked directly at Narcissa, "at least my hair is naturally red. Your blonde is so clearly out of a bottle you might as well have dunked your entire head into a cauldron of Doxy venom. And by the way, the dye doesn't seem to mix well with that Sleekeazy's you added, it's just starting to frizz a little… about here," she indicated with her hands.

Narcissa hurriedly stepped back into the archway, out of the drizzle that had started a few minutes earlier. Severus noted the two boys standing at the back smirking but he himself couldn't help but gape at Lily. He'd never heard such innocent sounding yet thinly-veiled sarcasm delivered so politely.

Lucius it seemed was the only one not left dumbstruck by the sudden outburst and he soon came to Narcissa's defence, snarling, "Shut up mudblood! You have no right to talk to those of the Sacred Twenty-Eight like that. You who has stolen your magic while we come from some of the longest lines of magical lineage there are!"

"What do you mean stolen magic? I haven't stolen any magic," Lily suddenly looked almost on the verge of tears. Sev didn't know if from fear, panic or anger. Probably a mixture of them all as the severity of the situation was sinking in.

The group formed a circle around them, wands out, there was no way to run and for all the bravado with which he'd thought about protecting Lily, he was well aware of his own weaknesses. That he would avoid conflict at all costs unless he was certain he had the upper hand. He didn't particularly think of himself as a coward but he'd always rather talk himself out of any potential fights. In this moment, he saw for the first time just how well suited each of them were to their own houses.

"Don't lie to us! We know the truth. Now help yourself and don't interrupt as we talk to your little friend here."

"Come on Severus. You've heard about the attacks over the summer, you know what could happen. Do yourself a favour, spare yourself the pain. Walk away. If you stay and try to protect her we'll make it worse for her. We'll make you watch, completely helpless, and then we'll do the same to you. Is all of that really worth being branded a blood traitor. What have muggles ever done for you? And are their filthy offspring really so much better? Why are you hesitating Snape? This isn't your fight, walk away. Maybe we'll even help you get some more of that power you so clearly crave? All you have to do is walk away," Narcissa could spin a pretty tale.

Lily looked scared now. Neither of the first years knew any useful magic and the vindictive looks in five surrounding pairs of eyes proved just how serious they were.

"Sev! NO!" Lily cried out, "just go. I don't mind. GO!..."

But then a hand was clamped over her mouth, muffling her shouts.

Severus could feel his face burning. With anger as they threatened Lily, the girl he was still standing here indecisively for, but mostly with shame as what they said was the truth. Shame because if it wasn't Lily here he would walk away, he knew he would. Shame because he agreed that muggles just weren't worth it. His father had abused him and his mother for years and it was his dearest wish to be able to return that pain upon him one day. It wasn't dark magic exactly that he was interested in, not what they were being threatened with, because most magic could be turned dark with bad intentions. Severus knew he wanted power, not to use necessarily but to have and for others to know he could use it if he wanted. But more than that, he valued and longed for friendship. Lily's and others' too. For that was a whole different kind of power in itself. A positive kind. And though he often lost sight of that as he didn't think himself a particularly good person, he remembered it now.

Severus knew he had to say something, he pushed aside his shame, as he knew this was all for Lily and Lily alone that he was doing this, and focused on anger, "I'm not a blood traitor. That would be my mother and you're right, my father had done nothing for me…"

"Petrificus Totalus! Expelliarmus! Impedimenta! "

Instinctively he ducked. But the spells weren't coming from Malfoy or Narcissa of the other Slytherins. They were coming from across the courtyard, fired at speed, one straight after the other.

He was suddenly dragged out of the rain into the corridor along with Lily. She grabbed his hand and they stared wordlessly up at the Head Girl who'd just saved them from Merlin knows what. Andromeda Black looked them up and down, "You hurt?"

They shook their heads hurriedly. She dragged a hand through her hair and stared frustratedly out at bodies in various frozen positions being drenched by the downpour, "Ugh! I knew I shouldn't have left Cissy alone with Bella so much this summer!"

Still they said nothing. Sev stared at the floor, unable to meet Lily's eyes.

"You'll make a good Slytherin I think," decided Andromeda as she looked at him critically.

"You don't even know what I was going to do. _I_ don't even know if I was going to walk away!" he protested.

Lily squeezed his hand, a silent assurance that it was ok and she understood. Sev didn't deserve it, he didn't deserve her. He didn't know if he would have left her or what would have happened if he did, only that it would've been bad and his actions unforgivable.

Perhaps he was too young, being only eleven after all, to truly understand this whole mess that the Ministry were too blind to see growing but his childhood hadn't been much of a childhood and it had made him grow up quickly. He'd learnt to expect the worst of people meaning he was never surprised and he was often well aware of consequences.

But he would do anything for Lily, he knew he would. She was often what he saw as the only good in his life and he wanted to keep that forever. He could see though that to keep that safe for both of them he would have to play along with the old pure-blood beliefs. Not that they repulsed him but to keep both he would learn to spin a web of lies.

"I don't need to know your answer. It doesn't matter now. Only what your choices in the future are. Learn from today and I'll give the others' a week's worth of detentions and take ten points apiece. Lily, I would advise you don't go anywhere alone for now. Why don't you skip the library and go dry yourselves off?" Andromeda spoke with almost as much authority as a professor.

…

Lily still felt shaken from the when she sat down for lunch the next day, she didn't know what might have happened but Sev's face said it wouldn't have been pretty. Honestly, she was still confused about some of it.

She'd gone back to the Gryffindor tower to find dry clothes but Sev hadn't gone back to his dorm, instead choosing to continue on to the library. He'd been muttering something about oclimemsy she thought. She tried catching his eye across the hall but he avoided her gaze. He was very frustrating when something was bothering him.

Just then Potter and Black entered noisily with Remus and Peter trailing a little way behind. Lily was waiting for Marlene and the others to arrive so she watched the boys warily. Unfortunately, they didn't sit at the other end of the table like she'd hoped and their shouts rang in her ears.

"How many bloody books do you have in here, mate? If we'd sat down a moment later my shoulder would have dropped off!" grumble Sirius.

"I dunno. Maybe you could count them for me, I'm sure I would appreciate it just as much as you offering to carry my bag for me today!" Potter returned brightly.

"It was a _bet_ not an offer and you _cheated_!"

"More like I didn't have three Pumpkin Pasties for breakfast and could actually lift up my feet to run!"

Sirius gasped in exaggerated outrage and proceeded to tip the contents of Potter's bag into his lap.

"OI!"

Lily stopped paying attention to their racket and waited impatiently – it had been bothering her all day – for Marlene to sit down before urgently asking, "What's a mudblood?"

Marlene froze, midway through her greeting and openly gaped at Lily. She didn't know what she'd said wrong. Even Alice looked about ready to ask her how she didn't know about yet another thing. She knew this was a lot more serious than Exploding Snap though. Apparently Sev's Magical Crash Course had a few glaringly obvious and crucial gaps in it and her old world had left her completely unprepared.

Dorcas and Mary said nothing too. All the Gryffindor first years were stunned into silence (including Sirius), staring at Lily as she fidgeted awkwardly on her seat. She knew she was the only muggle-born among them and also she wasn't yet fully aware how significant that was.

Finally, Potter broke the silence, running a hand through his untameable hair as he did so. He looked furious, "Who called you a mudblood, Lily?"

…

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed Severus' point of view. There probably won't be too much from him for a while. The next chapter will be more light-hearted. It's Halloween and the Gryffindor boys are planning something.**

 **The following explanation is what I was thinking about Snape while writing the chapter but was finding difficult to put into his own words without it dragging. Read if you would like:**

 **I think that, like James, Severus was in love with Lily from the very start. The reason he's already more aware of that is because 1. He knows her better anyway and 2. His childhood was lacking (especially in love) compared to James'.**

 **He's already more mature and self-aware, I actually really struggled to show his internal conflict between protecting Lily and how that contradicts everything else he believes in. However, this conflict will never be enough to discourage him from sharing/ acting on some of his less than favourable opinions when Lily's not around. He's even already thinking of/ learning to play the dangerous game of double-agent (as one side will never accept the other and feels like he's part of both), and I think already teaching himself Occlumency to protect himself. Severus is far more aware of the reality coming than the others are (even Sirius as he grows up with the Blacks).**

 **Of course, later Severus maybe embraces more what he currently sees as potential flaws in his character but I believe his actions are always in the interest of protecting Lily even if it doesn't seem like it. Unfortunately for him, Lily will never love him like that back, he sees her almost as his only salvation and a relationship can't be based purely upon that. He would need to try to be better for himself as well as her. (When Lily and Severus stop being friends, he becomes a death eater after all. He's just always needed a place to belong, even if he denies it, and struggles to find that.)**

 **At one point I was also thinking about the parallels Harry points out between Snape and Voldemort in the Half-Blood Prince. Not really sure why that was important. Something to do with love or power maybe?**

 **It was important for this to happen so early to Lily and Sev because for her it's a battle she's always fighting, at school and at home, and for him because it allows him to come to lots of realisations that he'll then spend a while battling or coming to terms with.**

 **If you read all that, thank you, you have a lot of patience and I hope it made sense. I didn't mean for it to get so long but if you have any thoughts please leave a review, I would love to know what you think.**


	6. Chapter 6

**6\. The Great Halloween Prank**

Remus hurried up the stairs to the boys' dorm on the heels of Sirius. The young Gryffindors burst through the door and collapsed into a giggling heap on the floor. (Although only small patches of the floor were visible beneath the contents of their trunks that were strewn across every possible surface.)

"And… and then… I mean, did you see her face?" Sirius choked out before doubling over in laughter again.

"I was a bit busy running for my life to be honest," James replied, though tears were running down his face as well.

Remus clutched his own aching ribs and looked at the grinning faces around him, sometimes it was hard to believe he'd made such good friends in so short a time. James and Sirius' fearlessness was so infectious, sometimes he forgot everything and stopped holding back and just let himself live and laugh with them. Having friends and being part of a group was a nice feeling he thought. One he wanted to hold onto as long as possible. He didn't know how long it would last. Seven years at most though he hardly let himself hope for such luck.

But for now, he could just enjoy high-tailing it away from the Trophy Room and Hogwarts' bad-tempered caretaker with his friends. His friends. And it didn't matter to any of them that they were probably due another detention. Even if all they'd done was _find_ Mrs. Norris stuffed in the rusty suit of armour outside the Trophy Room. It wasn't like they were the ones to trap the disgruntled cat in there. Sirius had just been teasing her a bit, flipping the visor up and down, when Filch rounded the corner.

And sure, Remus didn't want detentions but he'd only had a couple so far. Besides, he was getting good marks in all of his classes and, unlike the others, the teachers seemed to like him. Compared to James and Sirius' couple detentions a week, there was no reason Remus could be kicked out. Not since he had his nose buried in a book half the time. Unless his secret got out of course. But then that was why he refused not to learn as much as possible while he was here.

"Oi Remus!" Peter poked him, "stop staring lovingly at that disgusting pile of homework on your bed and help us plan the Halloween prank."

"What?"

"Come on Remus. The one we're planning for the Feast tomorrow. Remember?" James reminded him.

Oh right! That was a thing. A thing that he needed to come up with a believable excuse for. Quickly. Because tomorrow evening he'd be shuffling down the tunnel below the Whomping Willow while the others stuffed their faces with Pumpkin Pasties. Last month's transformation hadn't been too bad really. Everything had gone smoothly, he'd only needed to stay in the hospital wing a day and there weren't even any visible scratches to prompt awkward questions.

"Right about that," Remus fidgeted uncomfortably, stalling, "so I… I won't actually be able to help with that. I got a message today that my mum's ill again. I'm going home tomorrow to visit her for the weekend."

It was the same excuse he'd used last month but he'd already explained that it was a long-term illness. They hadn't pushed too much before but it seemed inconceivable that they wouldn't question him now. Surely, he was being extremely obvious about lying. He kept his eyes on the floor.

"Oh, ok then. We can adjust the plans slightly, no worries," James said.

"Yeah, tell your mum 'get well soon' from us," Sirius added, shushing Peter.

Remus' head shot up. That was it?! No questions or protests. Was he a better liar than he thought? They certainly weren't dense. Maybe they could tell he didn't want to talk. He met Sirius' eyes. He looked like he understood. But Remus wasn't even sure what they both understood.

"Ok."

"Yeah, so we'll just…" Sirius jumped straight back into planning the prank. He and James were literally incapable of not causing trouble and immediately James' eyes lit up as if he already knew what Sirius was going to say, he leaned forwards eagerly, "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"If what you're thinking I'm going to suggest is what I'm going to suggest then yes that is the suggestion I'm thinking of. But if you think I'm going to suggest something other than what I'm thinking of suggesting then I'm very offended that'd you'd ever think to suggest, that I would ever suggest thinking of something other than my suggestion," Sirius smirked.

James' and Peter's mouth were hanging open in confusion. Remus rolled his eyes.

…

Sirius' mouth dropped open. And sure, Remus called him a Drama Queen at least once a day but he wasn't even slightly exaggerating his awe now as he gazed in rapture around the Great Hall. Whoever was in charge of decorating… well, Sirius was speechless. And as any first-year Gryffindor could tell you that was almost as rare an occurrence as a Niffler not going after something shiny, which is to say it _never_ happened.

Glancing up towards the enchanted ceiling, he noticed many large cobwebs spun between the rafters. Some were in tatters, thick with dust and the shreds hanging like ominous curtains, drifting back and forth in a none existent breeze. Others were in perfect form, not a thread out of place. These seemed almost to be covered in a delicate layer of frost, occasionally a glint, a bright sparkle would catch Sirius' eye. The light reflecting from the huge full moon shining in the clear sky above. Sirius chose to ignore the shadowy shapes of the webs' occupants as movement elsewhere distracted him.

Of course, the Great Hall was lit by its classic floating candles but tonight they were especially flickery, casting deeper and darker shadows than usual. Bats flapped noisily in and around the candles, squeaking at each other. Occasionally one would swoop down towards a table, inviting many shrieks from the unsuspecting students devouring the feast below.

By the looks of it, the House Elves had surpassed even the deliciousness of the Start of Term Feast. Sirius could see Pumpkin Pasties, Pumpkin Pie, Pumpkin Soup, Pumpkin Juice, Roast Pumpkin, Mashed Pumpkin and some less festively themed food for the crazy people more averse to offensively orange vegetables. Even their skins were currently part of the decor. Every few feet down the table, a large Jack-O-Lantern grinned toothily out over the sea of pointy hats.

"Come on," Peter tugged on his sleeve impatiently, "I'm starving!"

The boys made their way to Gryffindor table with James pushing Sirius along from behind as he refused to stop being distracted by all the wonderful things to look at. He was always surprised by the bright and cheerful atmosphere of Hogwarts' meals. Back at Grimmauld Place, children were to be seen and not heard, especially not at the dinner table. Halloween had certainly never been celebrated but if it had he knew the Blacks were more of a 'skeletons in the closet' kind of family.

A far-off howl pulled Sirius from his thoughts and he finally started to tuck into the feast with his friends. Distantly he wondered if Remus was disappointed to be missing all of this, and the prank, because his mother was sick.

Suddenly the ghosts started to converge on the Great Hall, some lingered on the outskirts, almost wary of the rowdy students. But others floated lazily over the tables, scattering sweets over their heads. Glancing towards the High Table, Sirius thought McGonagall looked rather disapproving about that. Of course, extra sugar was never needed to excite the first and second years, and the older years had all been stuffing their faces at Honeydukes in Hogsmeade today. So maybe more chocolate was a bit unnecessary but it was Halloween after all.

Remus loved chocolate, Sirius remembered. He decided to collect some for him before their prank caused chaos to descend.

A few minutes later, the Headless Hunt burst dramatically through the tall windows on one side of the hall. They charged up between the tables and started tossing their heads around. James caught Sirius' eye and they smirked at each other, "That's our cue."

…

James watched at Peter was the first to hurriedly stand up and wave his wand, "Nox!"

Every single candle in the Great Hall immediately sputtered out, leaving just the bats flapping noisily overhead. Someone screamed. James hoped it was a Slytherin. But so far so good, the prank was going to plan. But that was just the easy part.

Then he and Sirius leapt up onto the bench and cast their own spells, "Wingardium Leviosa!" – directing multiple pumpkins towards the Headless Hunt.

Meanwhile, Sirius cast the spell that was the only reason any of them had been to the library all term. It had taken actual and literal _hours_ to find the spell they wanted. Apparently making ectoplasm solid wasn't a commonly needed charm – Merlin knows why!

"Ectcrasolopniumidasm!" Sirius was the only one of them who could actually pronounce it.

…

Last week, Nearly Headless Nick had reported the first-year Gryffindor boys to Filch – with the obvious exception of Frank Longbottom who'd James had known since forever. Frank could be good fun but was a bit boring about sticking to the rules.

Anyway, he and Sirius had been trying to sneak the Niffler which they'd found on the edge of the Forbidden Forest (the one time in six weeks Hagrid hadn't found them sneaking around the tree line and chased them away) into the Trophy Room, when Nick noticed.

And while they all obviously had the greatest respect for Nick, did he really need to rat out his own house? So, this was the revenge plan. And in order to wreak havoc upon the Halloween Feast – which was working perfectly if he did say so himself – they came up with this prank. First turn the Headless Hunt's heads solid. Then levitate the heads into the arms of Nick and finally levitate the pumpkins into the Hunt's hands in place of their heads.

…

All of a sudden, McGonagall called out, "Lumos," and they scrambled down and shoved more sweets in their mouths before the candles flickered back to life. He hoped they didn't look too suspicious but couldn't resist sneaking a peek at Nearly Headless Nick whose expression was rapidly changed from bewildered to irritated.

It appeared that the prank was successful. He grinned at Sirius.

James watched Nick with glee as he threw the heads into the air and glided for the High Table as quickly as he could with the Hunt charging after him, pelting him with pumpkins. One knocked his head sideways!

"It's working just like we thought, look James!" Peter called.

"Shut up idiot," hissed Sirius, "do not be the reason I get more detentions."

They needn't have worried though for the entire Hall was filled with chattering and laughter again. Then Professor Dumbledore stood and even the Headless Hunt pulled their horses to a stop, "Who is responsible for this?"

All the students looked at each other, looking for guilty faces. James kicked Sirius under the table as he joined in a little too enthusiastically. Then he saw Lily glaring at him from down the row. One of the pumpkins must have flown a little off course and landed on her plate because she was covered in feast now.

He looked away quickly. So maybe the prank had backfired a bit. She'd never talk to him now and all he wanted was to be friends. Hopefully she wouldn't tell on them though.

"It was Potter and Black, sir," someone yelled. James jerked his head in the direction of the voice. Snape. Of bloody course it was.

"The feast is over. Please return to your common rooms," McGonagall announced as she stared at them coldly. James looked at Dumbledore though, and really, he looked more amused than annoyed.

"You can't just assume it was us Professor," Sirius called out indignantly as the other students crowded out of the hall, "so a pumpkin exploded on Snape, that's not proof of anything except of an improvement to his complexion!"

"That is enough Mr. Black. Now return the Headless Hunt's heads back to their proper state," McGonagall swept towards them.

Sirius looked at James, his eyes wide, "We forgot to look up the counter-jinx!"


	7. Chapter 7

7\. Christmas Holidays

"Sirius mate, you alright?" James asked.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Have a good Christmas, I'll see you back here in a few weeks," Sirius kept looking out the window.

The Hogwarts Express had just pulled up to Platform 9 3/4 and he did _not_ want to get off. Outside the rain beat against the ground so hard it bounced back up again and for some reason it was fascinating to watch. He sighed and leant his forehead against the grimy glass.

"Hey little cousin," Andromeda stuck her head into their compartment, "get out there now. You know it'll just be worse if you don't."

"Fine," Sirius stood and started to heave his trunk from the overhead shelves.

"What's going on Sirius?" Peter whined, "You wouldn't play Exploding Snap once and you barely even touched the Every Flavour Beans the entire journey?"

Sirius ignored him and turned to follow Andy off the train. It was going to be a long two weeks.

"Sirius?"

He looked back but his stormy eyes didn't soften as they met Remus'. He didn't know how long they stared like that but eventually Andy cleared her throat.

"I'll write," Remus said at last.

There was another long silence.

"Don't."

…

Lily dashed through the rain straight into her parents' waiting arms, "I missed you so much!"

"We love you too, dear," chuckled Annie and Jake Evans, returning the hug, "now you have to tell us all about your new school. The things you describe in your letters are all so confusing!"

"Ok but where's the car? I'm soaking."

"It's this way but don't you want to say goodbye to Sev and your other friends?"

"Already have. Come on Mum, let's go! Petunia's probably bored of waiting."

Lily's parents looked at each other, "Petunia's actually at a friend's house right now but we're all going to decorate the Christmas tree together later."

"Oh, ok then."

She turned away so her parents wouldn't see the tears starting to fall, even if it was raining. Petunia hadn't written back to her once in three months and now she couldn't even be bothered to come meet her at the station. Lily didn't know if she was angry or sad.

…

"Good luck. See you on Christmas Day," Andy ran to join Narcissa and they apparated away.

Sirius stared up at Orion Black's thunderous face. He didn't risk turning to wave. His father still wasn't speaking. He didn't know if this anticipation was worse than what was sure to happen the moment they returned to the privacy of Grimmauld Place. Blacks didn't make a scene in public.

Suddenly his father grabbed his collar and whisked Sirius away into Side-Along Apparation. Blacks didn't use public Floo networks either.

Kreacher opened the door with a deep bow the second he sprawled ungracefully onto their front-step, "Mistress Black is waiting in the lounge, sir."

Technically Walburga Black was always in the lounge if you counted her terrifying portrait that screamed just as many obscenities as the woman herself. His father dragged him along though so Sirius knew he would be getting double the scoldings.

"GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR? WHY ARE YOU IN GRYFFINDOR BOY?" the real Walburga shrieked the moment Sirius was released from Orion's iron-like grip. She was louder than the Howler he'd received during his first Hogwarts breakfast.

He stood up straight and met his mother's furious eyes, "Because that was where the Hat sorted me Mother."

"Don't play innocent with us Sirius, we know this is your fault," Orion warned, "Phineas Nigellus spoke to Dumbledore for us and demanded he correct the terrible mistake that had been made. He refused to do so. Explain boy."

"I want to be in Gryffindor Father," Sirius winced. He shouldn't have said that.

"YOU _WANT_ TO BE IN GRYFFINDOR? ORION ARE YOU HEARING THIS? THE HEIR TO THE BLACK FORTUNE _WANTS_ TO BE IN GRYFFINDOR!"

Orion walked towards Sirius until he was cowering in his shadow, "Do you think this is funny?"

"No sir."

"You enjoy consorting with Mudbloods then?"

"I don't know any Mudbloods, sir."

"You mean to tell me that there aren't any Mudbloods or Blood-Traitors in Gryffindor? I am not a fool boy, speak the truth."

Sirius trembled and hated himself for it. His father didn't yell in the same way his mother did and it was infinitely more terrifying.

"There are Muggle-borns in Gryffindor yes. And James Potter is my best friend but I haven't met anyone with dirty blood."

"YOU INSOLENT BRAT! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO US LIKE THAT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THE HEIR TO THE BLACK FORTUNE IS A BLOOD-TRAITOR! THE HUMILIATION YOU WILL BRING TO US IS NOT WORTH THINKING ABOUT. HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR YOUR FAMILY?"

"Mother, no. It's not like…" Sirius cried desperately. He shouldn't have brought up James, he knew how much his parents hated the Potters.

"Your mother is right boy. Now kneel."

Sirius looked back to his father's face and crumpled to the floor. His knees hit wooden floorboards. The antique rug had already been pulled back in preparation. He wondered how he didn't notice before.

"Father please," he choked out.

"Silence," Orion drew his wand from his silk robes, "One day Sirius you will understand and believe in our superiority and if this is the only way to make it happen so be it."

He walked to stand behind Sirius and slashed his wand through the air, "Diffindo!"

It took all of Sirius' will-power not to fall to the floor completely as the spell sliced right through the back of his robes and further. He was a Black. Blacks were proud. Blacks do not grovel. Blacks suffered with dignity if they suffered at all.

"You will go to the Headmaster and insist you switch to Slytherin."

"No."

"Diffindo!"

He couldn't help it. Sirius hated being a Black. He screamed and barely caught himself before his face slammed into the floor.

The curtains of his mother's portrait flew open at the noise and began to screech as well, "BLOOD-TRAITOR!"

"You will cut all ties with the Potter boy."

"No," tears ran down his face, "stop, please."

"Diffindo!"

"YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THE NOBLE AND MOST ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK!"

"Repent and I will be merciful."

"No."

"Diffindo!"

"Sirius this is not a choice. You will do as you are told."

"Never," he gasped out through the pain, "Never."

"Diffindo! Diffindo! Diffindo!"

At last Orion stowed his wand away, "Come Walburga. Regulus has something he wants to show us… I will speak to you tomorrow Sirius. I hope you will have changed your mind."

The heavy oak door slammed and the portrait started to wail again.

…

"And Sev and I are best at Potions. We're near the top in all our other lessons but Potions are my favourite. Then Charms. I don't like Transfiguration so much but my other friends help me with that. All the girls in my dorm are really nice, especially Marlene. None of them are muggle-born though. Also, Quidditch is the craziest sport in the world, I've been to one match and it's amazing! Sev doesn't like it so much but we spend lots of the time in the library and we both like that. There are so many books in there… one time I got lost and I was almost late to Herbology. That's outside near the Forbidden Forest…"

"Breathe Lily-flower," Jake Evans interrupted smiling, "then try and explain each thing separately. You're not making any sense."

Lily took a deep breath and dived back into telling her parents about Hogwarts. They'd gotten all the Christmas tree decorations out, ready for when Petunia got back and now Lily was sticking sweets onto the gingerbread house her mum made yesterday.

"I wish I hadn't eaten all of my Honeydukes sweets, they would have been great to put on here."

"Honeydukes?"

"The sweet-shop in Hogsmeade. It's a village where only witches and wizards live. First-years aren't allowed to visit but Alice has an older brother and he brought us back some stuff. Look!"

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a jar of rainbow frogspawn (that would grow into rainbow frogs), a biting teacup and inside the teacup was a rubber rat that momentarily came to life if you squeezed its tail for ten seconds.

A shriek from the door made them all jump. Petunia was pointing a shaking finger at the rat, "Get it out of here. Get it out!"

Their Dad turned off the radio as Lily hastily shoved it back in her pocket, "Hey Tuney. It's alright, it's not real. It's just a joke."

"That's not natural. What's wrong with you Lily? Why would you even have something like that? It's not funny."

"Sorry," she rolled her eyes.

"You should be. Magic is stupid. I wish you'd never gone to that school. I really wish you didn't send home letters with owls. It's just weird Lily. How do you not see that?"

"Tuney… don't…"

"I don't know who you are anymore Lily. You're not my sister. You're a freak!" she turned and ran up the stairs before slamming her bedroom door.

Lily looked back at her parents with tears in her eyes, "I guess it's just us decorating the tree then."

She got up and went to their cosy living-room, sitting down on the soft rug in front of the small crackling fire. One by one, she sorted through the shoe-boxes of mis-matched baubles and some homemade decorations from nursery school. Lily had already strung some tinsel over the photos on one wall and was untangling a long string of fairy-lights before her dad joined her.

"Your mum is talking to Petunia. Everything will be fine, ok?"

Lily shook her head and stared sadly at the lights in her hands, "There are real fairies on the Christmas trees at Hogwarts."

…

Sirius didn't know how long he spent shaking on the floor but at last with great effort he pushed himself to sit up. He'd gone too far this time. He shouldn't have pushed his father further. He was… he… he was in so much pain and didn't know how to make it stop. His punishments had never been so severe before, he was sure this would leave physical scars too. Obvious ones.

Bruises fade and a broken bone was easily fixed. If it was really necessary the Blacks could go to St. Mungo's no questions asked, his parents had donated enough money to be sure of that.

But this time. The cuts probably didn't even need stitches. Sirius sat there, trying not to shake as it made the pain worse. He could feel the blood trickling down his back. He'd begged. He'd begged it to stop. That was the worst part. He'd been weak and he could not forgive himself.

The words he always silently chanted during beatings had failed him. They usually did but now he could sense it getting to the point where they would never work again.

 _I will not bend. I must not break. I will not bend. I must not break. I will not bend. I must not break. I will not bend. I must not break._

There wasn't anything he wouldn't give for a family like James'. He was so jealous yet felt so guilty for thinking it. He didn't agree with his family but it still felt like betrayal. But then that was them talking… ugh, he didn't know what he thought.

Just as Sirius was forcing the feelings of self-pity away, Kreacher slunk into the lifeless room.

"What do you want?" he croaked. His voice was still scratchy from the screaming.

"I'm to apparate you to your room Master Sirius. Then I will give you bandages and Essence of Dittany. Mistress Black must be obeyed."

Kreacher grabbed his hand and with a loud CRACK he was sitting on his bed.

"Does Master Sirius need help with the bandages?"

"No."

"Kreacher lives to serve the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black. Mistress Black will be most displeased if I do not serve the young Master properly."

"No."

"Mistress Black has also ordered that Master Sirius will not have dinner tonight and you are to clean the floor of the lounge tomorrow morning."

"Fine."

And with another CRACK he was gone.

Sirius groaned and slowly peeled the sticky shirt away from his ruined back. Pulling the shirt over his head just matted his hair with blood as well. He staggered to the bathroom and looked over his shoulder in the mirror. He flinched. Cleaning the long criss-crossing cuts would be almost impossible.

The Essence of Dittany would heal them of course. Probably just in time for another round.

…

To Remus,

How's your holidays going? I'm happy to be home. Even Hogwarts food doesn't beat mum's cooking. My family has a big New Year's Eve party every year. Can you come? Marlene, Alice, Frank and Peter are. Also, would it be a bad idea to invite Lily? Hope you like the chocolate.

James

P.S. Have you heard anything from Sirius?

…

To James,

Sorry but I can't come to the big party. My parents booked a holiday to France for the new year, just them. I'm going back to Hogwarts a few days early. Happy to be sleeping in my own bed again but nothing beats Hogwarts food. No, I haven't heard from Sirius. Yes, it would be a terrible idea to invite Lily.

Thanks for the chocolate, Remus

…

To Remus,

You're boring. Whatever, I'm inviting her. Do you think I should post the letter the muggle way? How do you do that? Also, would writing to Sirius really be a bad idea? And why don't you just stay at mine instead of going back to Hogwarts early? Have you started your homework yet? I'm probably just going to leave mine for the last three days.

James

…

To James,

You're an idiot. Please don't. No. You need stamps. Yes, bad idea. Very, very bad idea. Sorry but I really can't, I'll see you at school. Yes of course and again you're an idiot.

Remus

…

To James,

Answer me. Please. Tell me you haven't done anything stupid. ANSWER!

Remus

…

To Peter,

Happy Christmas. Tell James to write to me immediately.

Thanks, Remus

…

To Lily,

Happy Christmas! I hope you are having a nice time with your family. I wanted to send this to you the muggle way but Remus told me I need stamps for that and I don't know what those are. I hope your family's cool with owls. Anyway, if you're around I'm having a big New Year's Eve party and this is me inviting you. Marlene and Alice will be there too. Please reply. I want us to be friends.

James

…

Lily was sitting in a sea of wrapping paper and sticky-tape when the owl started tapping on the window. Christmas had been going well until then. For the last week, there had been an unspoken agreement in the Evans' house not to talk about magic around Petunia. It was awkward but civil and for now that was the best thing she could hope for.

They'd made it through stockings, a chocolate breakfast and most of the presents when Petunia noticed the owl first. She almost knocked the Christmas tree over in her hurry to stand up, "What's that doing here Lily?"

"I don't know," she shrugged and opened the window to take the letter from the owl before feeding it a few crumbs of a mince pie.

"Make it go away."

"Let me read the letter first. I might want to reply quickly."

"No! You promised you wouldn't let any of this freakishness near me and now you're ruining Christmas!"

"I haven't done anything. This is all you," Lily yelled back.

But with all the commotion the owl flew off to wait in a tree in their garden. Jake and Annie Evans stared at their daughters, lost at how to fix things. The radio softly played 'It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas' but not one of them could see how this year was anything like the ones before it.

"I'm sorry Tuney," Lily snuffled. She ran out the room to grab a coat and wellies. Her mum probably needed help with the Christmas dinner but she'd be back soon. And if not, well Petunia always liked to prove she was the better daughter.

"I'm going to Sev's," she called as she slammed the front door behind her.

On the way she stopped at the swings in the park and sat down to read the letter. It was from Potter. She had no reason to believe what he said was true although he did say it an awful lot. Maybe he was less annoying when he was your friend. She supposed she'd over-reacted quite a lot last term but it was just so hard to control her temper. Even over little things. And the number of times he'd nearly caused her serious bodily harm!

But Severus would probably never talk to her again if she became friends with Potter and she couldn't lose him. He was her oldest friend and the only person who really understood her.

Lily stood and continued on her way to Sev's, forcing all unpleasant thoughts away. She could forget about her hurt and anger towards Petunia for now and the confusion over Potter. It was Christmas and she wouldn't let anything ruin it for her.

…

To Potter,

Sorry but I can't.

Lily Evans

…

To Remus,

This is the letter Lily sent me. What does it mean? Also, I swear I didn't write to Sirius but I got a letter from him.

James

P.S. I mean it. You're welcome to stay. My parents won't mind.

…

To James,

I don't know what it means! What did you write to her? I also got a letter from Sirius. Make sure you don't write back. And no, it's really not possible. Have a good time with the others. Happy New Year,

Remus

…

To James,

I know you probably want to write but thank you for not. Christmas is just as awful as expected. What else would you expect for a Gryffindor in a house of Slytherin pure-blood maniacs? Don't worry I'm fine. Can't make it to your yearly New Year's thing though. I'm grounded and my parents are feeling especially anti-blood-traitor-ish this year. No offense.

I'm bored and making up pranks. You'd better have some good ones too by January. We can pick the best ones to do. See you at school. **Don't write back.**

Sirius

…

To Remus,

I'm alive! You don't have to worry anymore. Also, I've done all of my homework like a good boy. Christmas is as awful as expected. How's your holiday going? I'm grounded so I can't go to James' party but if you're going have fun. If you're not try and have a good New Year's anyway. I miss you guys. See you at school.

Please don't write back. I know you want to know why but I can't tell you. Sorry. I wish I could.

Sirius

…

Sirius discreetly handed Andy the letters at the end of the Black Christmas Eve Feast. It wasn't as fun as the Hogwarts feasts but Sirius was only allowed downstairs for the eating part anyway. Perks of being a Gryffindor he supposed. Regulus had to sit through the entire evening.

"What are these?"

"Please send them to my friends. And don't let anyone know," he begged his favourite cousin.

"Ok. Now get upstairs quickly. Aunt Walburga sent you away five minutes ago and you don't want the whole family as an audience to _anything_."

"Thanks," he dashed quietly up to his room, shut the door and sighed in relief that the night was over. The last few days hadn't been as bad as the first night back home but Sirius had no desire to provoke such an extreme punishment again anytime soon. The scabs kept cracking open and oozing pus as it was.

Someone rapped smartly on the door. Sirius groaned, "Come in."

Regulus opened the door wide. He was wearing a ridiculous pair of green velvet dress robes with _Toujours Pur_ embroidered on the left side _._ The collar reached his chin and the hem swept along the floor.

Sirius was wearing the same ones.

"Hello brother. Mother thought you might be bored up here all by yourself so she had graciously allowed you some visitors."

"Do those visitors include you?"

Regulus' gritted his teeth, "Thankfully not."

"Then you'd best run along little brother. I'm sure you're being sorely missed as we speak."

The brothers glared at each other before finally Regulus turned away. Sirius yelled down the corridor after him, "Unless you _want_ to stay for the fun, of course."

Unfortunately, a body prevented him from slamming the door for emphasis. It was Bellatrix, "Yes, we are going to have fun, aren't we?"

She was his least favourite cousin, the complete opposite of Andy and the literal embodiment of every last drop of hatred, superiority and prejudice the family believed in. After his parents of course. And now she was in his room. Her and Rodolphus, her new husband. He fit right into the family.

"Hello Bella. Having a nice time?"

"Better than you're about to have I'm sure," she cackled nastily and pulled her wand from her hair, letting down the wild curls to partially obscure her sadistic smile.

"I believe you. What do you want?"

"Just to have a chat with my little cousin. I've heard you've been getting a bit confused about things."

"You want to help with my Potions homework. Thank Merlin! Kreacher is completely useless," he scrambled over to his desk.

"Very funny cousin. Expelliarmus!"

His wand went soaring through the air before he had a chance to reach it. Rodolphus caught is while Bellatrix cornered him near the window, "Orion and Walburga sent us up. They're worried you've got some things mixed up and you're not showing your true Black colours."

"Technically black is a shade not a colour."

"We can talk now or later. You choose," Bella began to raise her wand.

Sirius shrank back against the wall slightly. Still she wasn't so scary as his parents, what could she do to hurt him?

"Let's talk later. This whole showing my true colours thing sounds interesting. Personally, I've never liked this shade of green _– he gestured at his robes –_ is it time to turn them red?"


	8. Chapter 8

8\. Birthday Surprise!

James rolled onto his stomach and shoved his head under the pillow as he heard Remus start getting ready for school. It was the first day back after Christmas and he just wasn't ready to face the reality of that yet. Not that he hadn't done his homework. He had. Yesterday on the train with minimal effort. Thank Merlin's lucky socks it had been super easy! Peter had given him a strange look when he'd said that.

"James… James… JAMES!"

He sat up and glared at Remus the best he could while still rubbing sleep from his eyes, "What?"

"Sirius is already up."

" _What_?... Why? Where is he?"

"Either his plan for avoiding classes has improved since last term from just staying in bed as long as possible or he's already at breakfast."

"Ok."

Remus stared at him, wild-eyed, "Seriously, ok? That's it? You didn't think he was acting strange yesterday? And his letters? Something's wrong James!"

He was tugging nervously at his shirtsleeves, pulling them down over his hands. Honestly, Remus looked about ready to run out of there without warning. He and Sirius had to be pretty good friends too, James wondered how he'd missed that. Often, he thought he was the only one who was friends with all of the others in their group.

He climbed out of bed slowly, "Look, just let me get ready and then we'll go look for him. Let's panic when we know there's something to panic about."

"Fine."

James threw a pillow at the lifeless lump under a duvet, "Wake up Pete, you're gonna miss breakfast."

…

Lily dragged Sev out to the Quidditch Pitch to watch the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw match. The wind was a little less bitter than it had been the last few weeks and as the end of January approached so did her birthday. They still had to wade through a foot of snow to get there of course but nothing could dampen Lily's high spirits, "It'll be fun, we can cheer for the same team this time!"

Sev insisted they support Ravenclaw but Lily supposed that was for the best; none of her friends could stand Sev and the Gryffindor boys just outright antagonised him. They were cheering for Hufflepuff today.

Mr. Boeing blew the starting whistle and Lily grinned at Sev as she cheered for the Ravenclaw Chaser who caught the Quaffle first. He grinned back at her, eyes bright and glittering in a drastic change of mood compared to the black cloud that had been following him around since Christmas. They'd spent as much as they could at the park back in Cokeworth but that wasn't really a practical plan in December and Christmas was never a highlight of the year for Sev.

But here, crowded into the stands with hundreds of young witches and wizards, supporting the most magical sport to be imagined, nothing could feel further away than the grimy muggle town they'd left behind. Lily and Sev could relax here. No one hated that they didn't fit with 'normal'. No one stared because students from different houses were friends, unless it was their teams playing of course. And nothing could prevent the joy they felt at knowing they were safe until the snitch was caught.

Then they'd sneak off to the library again.

…

Lily was woken by a terrible yowling. She sat up and almost bashed her head against Marlene's, who was kneeling on the mattress of her four-poster.

"What's happening? Why are you holding Tiger above my head?" Lily took the struggling cat and gave it a hug. Tiger immediately relaxed into her arms and started purring loudly as she stroked his fluffy fur into a marginally less ruffled state.

"Marlene thought the best way to wake you up on your birthday would be to smother you with that furball," Dorcas explained in amusement.

"Of course."

"That cat is a demon!" Marlene winced as she examined the long scratches on her arms, "Look it's torn my pyjama sleeve to shreds. It's like it knew what I was trying to do!"

"Well, Tiger is part-kneazle. Which means he's really smart and can tell if people are acting suspiciously," Lily kept stroking the cat.

"I thought the reason you have Tiger is because your sister hates owls. What's going to happen if she finds out about the kneazle thing?" Mary asked confused.

"She's not going to find out."

"Whatever, that demon-cat might be crazy clever and always hate me from this point forwards but it's also always going to be really ugly," Marlene kept grumbling.

Alice giggled, "I don't think Tiger cares, Marly. Look how happy he is!"

"I think you mean smug."

Eventually, the girls had to start getting ready for classes. Luckily for Lily it was Potions first but they risked being late for breakfast with all the presents they piled up on her bed. The parcels ranged from more Honeydukes chocolate and Zonko's jokes to records from some popular wizarding bands that she'd never heard of.

"Wait for five minutes, then follow us down to the Great Hall!" Alice called over her shoulder as they raced towards the dorm door. Lily rolled her eyes, apparently there were more surprises waiting for her downstairs. She hoped it wouldn't attract too much attention.

"But I want breakfast before class," she protested weakly.

"Old Sluggy loves you Lily, you can't seriously be worried. You could turn in an essay a week late and still get five house points!"

…

Lily stood and stared for a moment from the top of the Grand Staircase in the Entrance Hall. It was quiet for the first time since she'd arrived at Hogwarts. Everyone was at breakfast or still asleep and most of the portraits (whose occupants had seriously freaked her out at in September) were also snoozing.

Lily saw Sev walk into the Great Hall from the direction of the dungeons and began to hurry down the steps. It felt wrong to disturb the early morning peace by yelling but she hoped to catch him before he reached the Slytherin table; there wouldn't me much time to talk in Potions.

Suddenly the strap of her bag was torn away from her shoulder. Lily lost her balance and toppled down to the big square step halfway down where the staircase turned a corner. She grazed her knees and blinked back tears of shock and anger. The students who'd grabbed her satchel were smirking at her when she finally looked up.

It was the sixth and seventh years from Slytherin. The ones who'd harassed her and Sev during their first term. Lily gasped and tried to scramble to her feet. One of them was swinging her bag to and fro, just out of reach, mocking her. She wasn't sure what would have happened the last time but she definitely didn't want to find out now. There was no choice but to abandon her books and wand.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

Before Lily could make it one step she was completely paralysed. Her head smacked against the worn stone, the sound echoing up the column of moving stairs above them. Her skull felt like it was splitting open from the multiple starbursts of pain and her ears rang loudly. She fought the agony for a few moments to focus on the vicious words of her attackers.

"Hello again Mudblood. Was that the young Mr. Snape I just saw you running after?" Malfoy sneered.

Sev had told her all about Lucius Malfoy and his little gang after the last incident. They were all 'pure-bloods' and his girlfriend Narcissa Black was apparently Sirius' cousin. It figured, she thought, makes sense that vanity and arrogance ran in the family.

"You should learn your place now, Mudblood. It'll make life… easier for you in the future. You just can't be friends with a Slytherin whose magic is untainted."

Lily wished she could spit in his face and tell him how Sev's father was actually a muggle. She wished Sev was here now to help her. Or that she could defend herself. She wished that it wasn't her birthday because it had taken a pretty crappy turn now and somewhere beneath all of the furious thoughts fighting in her brain, a small voice whispered how she wished Potter would one day be in this situation too.

Malfoy nodded at the largest of his cronies, the one with her bag. He started pulling textbooks out, pouring her bottle of ink on the pages and ripping the pieces of parchment with her homework on into dozens of pieces. He snapped the ends of her quills and stuffed the bag of toffees into his own pocket. It was pathetic and petty really, a minor annoyance if only she hadn't slaved over that Transfiguration for so long.

When he reached her wand though… Lily swore her heart almost stopped. Last time they said she'd stolen magic. They wouldn't snap it in two, they wouldn't… would they?

"Lucius, I'm bored. Unfreeze her. It's so much more interesting when they beg and cry and I've learnt some new curses that I want to try out," Narcissa whined.

She drew in a long shaky breath. Her wand was intact for now. Everyone had lost interest as they waited for their leader to decide.

"Very well," Lucius flicked his wand, "hurry up. Breakfast will be over soon."

Narcissa took a couple excited steps forward, the others drawing closer as well, eager to take part themselves.

Lily ignored the blurry stars in her eyes the moment she could move and dragged herself up so she was leaning against the wall. Her eyelids shut and her head fell forwards onto her knees as she hugged them to herself. Something warm and sticky trickled down her neck. Lily checked and her fingers came away stained red.

"Look at me, Mudblood."

She slowly raised her head, no longer trying to hide the tears that were falling freely. They were still smiling, "Beg for mercy and we'll consider it. You won't walk away with permanent scars. It would be a kindness you know. More than you deserve."

"Why should I believe you?" she forced out through gritted teeth, "And why do you get to decide that?"

Malfoy grabbed the collar of Lily's robes and dragged her to her feet, slamming her back against the wall. He snarled in her face, "Apologise immediately. You… you filthy little tramp have no right to speak like that to us. If you don't shut your trap soon you might just be one of the Death Eaters' first targets. And with all the rest to come after, who would ever remember _you_?"

She had no idea what he was talking about but her head had finally stopped spinning just enough that her temper snapped. With difficulty, since he was so much taller, she jerked her knee upwards hard enough that Malfoy doubled over groaning. Lily pushed away from the wall and shoved Narcissa back so she wobbled on her heels.

While they were distracted, she grabbed her wand from the lifeless hand of Malfoy's slack-jawed side-kick and cast the only spell she could think of.

"Stella!" a bright stream of stars burst from her wand. She ran up the stairs and turned left, heart pounding while the Slytherins screeched having gone momentarily blind.

But it was no good, Lily was still dizzy and they soon caught up, "Levicorpus!"

The floor suddenly went out from under her and she gasped at the increased pounding in her head as gravity caused all her blood to rush there. She was suspended by something invisible holding her left ankle. Her skirt fell down and Lily struggled to push it up.

They sniggered and pointed, content to drag out the humiliation while she inwardly cursed them. Despite her anger, she was too scared to push them any further.

Suddenly she heard voices and the loud shuffling of feet.

"I'M OVER HERE! SOMEONE HELP! PLEASE, HEL…"

"Silencio!" Malfoy then pointed his wand at a near by door, "Alohomora!"

A water bucket and mop toppled out into the corridor, "Time's up guys. We need to get out of here. She should have learnt her lesson by now. If not, we'll stop buy again."

He aimed that last part at her while Narcissa pouted and performed the counter-jinx, "Liberacorpus!"

Lily crashed to the floor and something in her right arm snapped. A white-hot flash of pain shot up and down it while she silently screamed. It was almost too much and she fought again to maintain consciousness.

The largest boy shoved her into the broom cupboard but she had no energy left to resist. Like a rag-doll she crumpled against the cleaning supplies.

Malfoy pointed his wand at her again, "Sweet dreams," he said, "Stupefy!"

…

James sprinted for the closest door as Sirius ducked behind a tapestry with Remus. Peter was already cowering behind a suit of armour a few metres away. They'd just set off half a dozen of Dr. Filibuster's Fabulous No-Heat, Wet-Start Fireworks outside Filch's office. The plan had been to distract Sirius from the awful mood he was in (and had been for a month) by burning up the list of Forbidden Items pinned to the door. Unfortunately, they hadn't considered that Filch would be in the office at the time.

He skidded to a stop and flung himself inside what turned out to be a very _very_ dark and dusty broom cupboard. He slammed the door and collapsed back against it, taking a deep breath in relief. He heard a rustling noise and something brushed against his leg.

"Lumos," he whispered.

Lily Evans lay on the cold stone.

She was unconscious and her arm was bent unnaturally. James forced himself not to cry out and he knelt by her side, gently touching a cut on her temple where a trickle of blood ran.

The door opened and Sirius, followed by Remus and Peter, burst in making James jump, "Filch is gone, he went towards the kitchens. We should probably get to Potions."

James looked at them frantically, "Lily's hurt. She was like this when I found her."

Sirius tilted his head, "Huh?" but Remus immediately turned tail and ran towards the stairs. James hoped he was going to the hospital wing; there was no way any of them could help.

…

Lily woke with a pounding headache. She blinked and groaned at the bright lights before her family's faces swam into focus, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh Lily, you're awake!" her mother cried joyfully, "Professor Dumbledore altered some of the… wards around the castle. Special allowance just this once."

She looked between her parents' worried faces and Petunia's pinched sulky one as Madam Pomfrey marched towards them. It finally registered that she must be in the Hospital Wing.

"Don't move too much, you've got a nasty concussion. We'll have to keep you here a couple nights for observation. The arm is fixed, no problem at all, though it was snapped clean in two. Still going to take at least a week to properly mend mind you, keep it strapped up in that sling at all times," the kindly Healer bustled towards Lily's bed and placed a steaming goblet on the table, "drink this, it'll help you sleep."

"But…"

"Nope. You need to rest and heal."

"You heard her Lily, drink up," her mother added sternly.

…

The second time she woke up it was early evening. Her family were allowed to stay a couple more hours before they would have to leave. They ate dinner and gave her some presents. Even Petunia was making an effort to be nice. Eventually though Professor Dumbledore arrived to escort them home.

He returned to the Hospital Wing a few minutes later, "How are you feeling, Miss Evans?"

"Much better, thank you," she stared up at him timidly.

"Do you feel well enough to talk about what happened?"

Madam Pomfrey stuck her head out of the office, "This had better be quick Albus. The poor girl has been through a terrible ordeal today and she needs to rest."

"There'll be no need to throw me out, Poppy," he promised, "Miss Evans can you tell me who your attackers were?"

"If they find out I've told I think they'll come find me again," she worried, "they said something about… Death Eaters?"

"We won't allow that to happen," he assured her.

"Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Black, Crabbe, Goyle and Nott," she blurted out.

"Thank you. They shall be suspended immediately and precautions for your safety shall be taken in due course upon their return. And as for the Death Eaters, you are most certainly safe while you're at Hogwarts."

"But who are they?"

"Sir Nicholas mentioned that he has explained the animosity between the houses and also within the wizarding community as a whole, yes?"

She nodded.

"The Death Eaters are the group of radical wizards he told you about, the ones who believe in 'pure-blood supremacy'. They are growing in power but pose no threat to us here. Outside the castle walls I'm not so sure…" Dumbledore shook his head sadly, "I taught their leader Transfiguration… Tom Riddle. Not many people know it's him. He had so much potential. I wish I could have helped him…"

Lily stared at the headmaster. She didn't know what to say to all of this, it was so confusing. Maybe Sev could explain. Professor Dumbledore looked lost in memories, his expression so dejected she wondered if there was more than one person he was thinking of.

Then he smiled at her, eyes sparkling once more, "Is there anything else you would like to ask me?"

She shook her head.

"Very well. I'm sorry to ask this of you but perhaps you could not tell your friends all that you've just learnt. A mass panic will do no one any good and the castle's rumour-mill will quickly turn 'you are safe' into 'they are lying in wait outside the walls this very moment'."

Lily cracked a smile. Professor Dumbledore stood to leave, "Your sister gave me this for you," he passed her a wrapped box and a letter.

"Really?" she took them eagerly and wondered why Petunia hadn't said anything earlier. Then she noticed him pointing to her right, "You have good friends Miss Evans. One of them found you in that cupboard and brought you here. They left you this. Happy Birthday."

As he left, she stared at the slice of her favourite treacle tart with a single candle flickering in its centre.

…

Dear Lily,

Happy Birthday. I'm sorry you're hurt on your birthday but then that is the only reason I wrote this because I knew I wouldn't have to send it by owl.

You're hurt because someone at that school didn't like you. I don't know why but maybe they don't think you belong either. I'm sorry about Christmas too. Nothing I said was true, I just wish you would come home to us and live normally. It feels like you don't belong here anymore either.

You probably think this is mean but magic is _so_ freakish. And that Snape boy. But you're not. I don't know why. It's weird but it makes perfect sense you're magical. You were always different… in a good way I mean. But it scares me. It scares me so much Lily and I just want my little sister back.

I know you'll never leave that school though so don't expect me to act much different during the holidays, please don't ask that of me. It's not your fault but don't make it mine either.

Love, Petunia

P.S. I remember there were some boys you were complaining about. You wanted to get back at them in a way they will never expect. You used to have fun with these in primary school so here are some practical jokes. If you can wait a few months and it's not a magic thing too, April Fool's Day could be the perfect opportunity.


	9. Chapter 9

9\. April Fools' Day

It was the last round of a fierce game of Gobstones that had lasted most of the evening when Marlene asked James if he had any plans for pranking the following day.

"Even if we do, I wouldn't tell you," he smirked, leaning back in his chair.

Marlene rolled her eyes, James could be irritatingly cocky but she'd known him forever so that basically meant there wasn't anything she'd have to watch out for, "Haven't been able to think of anything half decent over Easter then?"

He frowned, "Of course. It's just not ready yet."

"So you don't have anything planned for tomorrow?"

"I didn't say that."

Just then one of her Gobstones squirted some foul-smelling goop at him. It got him right in the eye, both eyes actually. He wiped it off his face in disgust.

Marlene laughed, "Ha! I win!"

James stood up, "I'm going to bed now. Go irritate someone else."

"Oh, don't be a sore loser Jamie," she followed him up to his dorm.

Nothing happened. Now that was interesting! She wondered if boys could get up to the girls' dorms. She hoped not, most of the boys' dorm was a complete mess. She thought that the two half tidy beds were probably Remus' and Frank's.

"Hey! You're not allowed up here!"

She shrugged, "So what? I haven't seen you in _ages_."

"Sorry, there's just lots of stuff going on. Sirius has only just stopped being in a black mood 24/7, and then there's school and the planning for all the pranks we're going to pull this term and…"

Marlene bounced over to sit next to him on his bed, "Come off it, James! Those are literally the lamest excuses and worst pun ever. One, you can't abandon the rest of your friends just because one has something going on. Two, we've just been on holiday for a couple weeks and you don't care about class most the time anyway. Sure, you get top marks but you don't have to try for them, which by the way, is _so_ unfair. And three, you haven't been pulling half as many pranks as before Lily's birthday."

…

Two Months Earlier

James sneaked through the dark halls of the castle, ducking behind a tapestry at the slightest hint of a noise. He was under his dad's Invisibility Cloak but that wasn't a guarantee he wouldn't be caught. Finally, he found a small spiral staircase. It was the back route down to the basement and would be less obvious than using the Grand Staircase. He tiptoed over the creaking steps and crept around a few corners before he found it at last.

The painting of a bowl of fruit. His dad had told him how to get to the kitchens when he'd given James the cloak. James' mum had not been in earshot at the time. Sceptical that it would actually work, he reached his hand out from under the cloak and tickled the pear.

It turned into a handle and he opened the door just wide enough to slip inside. The Potters employed a house-elf of course but he hadn't realised how many worked at Hogwarts. There had to be at least a hundred down here, performing all kinds of housework.

Then he heard the sound of chair legs scraping against stone. James looked and found with shock that Sirius was also down here. He was standing, one hand gripped tightly round his wand, "Who's there?"

"Um… it's me. James?"

Sirius continued to stare just slightly to his right. Oh of course! He was still wearing the cloak. James tugged the cloak off.

"Is that an… Invisibility Cloak?" he gasped.

"Yep. Family heirloom. Don't the Blacks have one?"

"Actually no," Sirius shook his head, "though they'd probably be happy to sell me to get their hands on one… Wow! I had no idea you had that. Why didn't you tell us about it before? We could have used it in so many of the pranks!"

"I did use it."

"You mean… that's… that's how you got into the Potion's supply cupboard to switch the Lacewing Flies and Crystallised Spider-Webs? And why you were nowhere to be seen when Rosier went sprawling across the floor of the Entrance Hall? You were the one who shoved him!"

"Yep!" he grinned, "so can I join you?"

Sirius gestured to the apple pie he had been digging into, "Sure, help yourself. You missed dinner, didn't you? Have you been up at the Hospital Wing all this time?"

"Until about half an hour ago, yeah. They kicked me out when Lily's family arrived but I waited to see if I could go back in. Then Snape turned up. He started a fight, McGonagall broke it up and sent us back to our Common Rooms. I grabbed the cloak and snuck down here. Mmmmm, this pie is _so_ good!"

"Evans will be fine you know."

"Yeah. So how did you get down here without being caught."

Sirius shrugged and stared at his hands, "I've been sneaking down to find food in kitchens since I was about seven. Got a lot of practise in over Christmas as well."

"Oh."

"Yeah, well I knew they wouldn't be happy."

"Sirius…"

"Don't James. There's nothing you can do. They said I had to demand to be switched to Slytherin. Obviously, I'm not going to but just, not really looking forwards to the summer, you know?"

James didn't know. He looked down at the table too. There was nothing he could say. His family loved him; he couldn't imagine what it would be like if they didn't.

"It'll be fine," Sirius said at last, "I'll be fine. They'll just have to get over it. And I've been ordered to stay here for Easter anyway."

"Yeah… you know, if you're allowed… I know you weren't before but… maybe you could come over to mine for a few weeks in the summer. Escape that house… if you want?"

"Maybe… we'll see," he hesitated.

They were quiet again, slowly eating through the apple pie from opposite sides of the dish. The house-elves barely paid them any attention, apparently at perfect ease with letting them eat at their own pace. Eventually Sirius started tapping his fork along the table.

"Um… er, you know…um. Look, I'm sorry ok. I know I've mean horrible to you all this month and erm, this sounds totally lame, but it was nothing personal."

"It's fine, really," James assured him, "But be serious, what's with you always changing in the bathroom now?"

"I'm always Sirius, and Remus changes in the bathroom."

"Yeah but he has since September and you didn't used to."

"It's nothing really. Regulus tripped me down the stairs at home and it was easier to put cream and plasters on the cuts and bruises at the same time as getting dressed. Then it just became habit, I guess."

A house-elf trotted over to them, "Is everything ok Master Sirius? Can we get you anything else sir?"

"No thank you, Kiki," replied Sirius. James shook his head. It looked like she was the head house-elf. They all wore white tea-towel-like robes with the school crest on but her crest was golden and the tea-towel just generally looked crisper.

There was a tiny baby house-elf in her arms. It's bulging eyes were closed even though it squirmed a bit. James had never seen a baby house-elf before. It looked so fragile despite the blankets Kiki had wrapped it in.

She noticed him looking and smiled, "My son. He was born eleven days ago. He will be so handsome and so loved. Hogwarts is the best home an elf could have."

He nodded not knowing what to say. She smiled again and curtseyed before hurrying back to the great fireplace. The flames weren't roaring at this time of night but the glowing embers still gave off enough heat that even from half way down the vast kitchen, James was considering removing his jumper.

"Kiki is Kreacher's sister. They haven't seen each other since Kreacher came to work for mother. Sometimes I wish she worked at Grimmauld Place instead but she would be miserable there. She never minds giving me anything I ask for though," Sirius rambled.

James nodded. He wondered if his family's house-elf had a family too and where they lived, if they ever saw each other. He knew his mother gave her days off and refused to let her do all of the house-work but he'd never really thought about it before.

"It's late. We should go back to the dorm now. Come on, we'll both fit under the cloak."

…

Present Day

Lily wiggled out from under her bed with the shoebox. She'd spent long enough under there rummaging around that Tiger had curled up on her back and was now purring loudly.

"Found it!" she held it up to the others triumphantly.

"That's it?" Dorcas asked, "I thought you said you had a brilliant plan to prank the boys."

"I do," she shook the box again for extra emphasis and pushed her now very disgruntled cat away. She climbed up on her bed and immediately upended the box. A number of distinctly muggle items fell out of it along with a list written in Petunia's flowery writing.

Practical jokes for proving that boys are dumb:

-Sneezing powder  
-Clingfilm  
-Bucket of water  
-Airhorn  
-Fake spider  
-Hair dye (pink)  
-Whoopee Cushions  
-Silly String

"What are all of these things?" Marlene wondered as she picked up the airhorn, "they're so weird and none of them are moving."

Lily smiled happily, "This is my old practical joke kit from when I was primary school. Tuney added a few things though! On the first of April muggles prank each other and since these tricks are non-magical the boys won't know what's happening."

Alice giggled, "This is actually going to be so fun. Do you have a plan already? Can I help?"

"Yeah, I need all of you to help please."

Dorcas and Marlene whooped although Mary looked a bit nervous, "This isn't going to hurt anyone, like _their_ pranks sometimes do, is it?"

"Absolutely not. It's just going to be humiliating."

Lily spread out a very large roll of parchment with a map of various rooms and colourful squiggly arrows to labels on it. Each stage was numbered in order and was colour coded for which of the girls would be doing it. Let it not be said that Lily Evans wasn't meticulously organised in all aspects of life.

"Exactly! I've done the scouting out already," Marlene added as she tossed her hair back, "they have nothing planned for tomorrow and girls can get into the boys' dormitories."

"Good. Now this is what we're going to do."

Marlene and Dorcas. Sneak into their dormitory at midnight. Clingfilm on the toilet. Sneezing powder on their robes and the fake spider on Peter's pillow. Hair dye in shampoo bottles.

Lily. Charm the whoopee cushions to same colour as DADA chairs. Put the mini Dungbombs from Alice's brother inside them. Don't inflate until DADA tomorrow.

Mary is best at Wingardium Leviosa. Levitate bucket of water onto Transfiguration classroom door. Meanwhile rest of us distract class with silly string and the airhorn.

Look smug while McGonagall gives them all detention while sopping wet because we've proved that girls can prank too.

 **A.N: This was started last year but hopefully I will update more regularly now. Some of the eight chapters that are already here have been edited. This is the first new chapter. I have also changed my author name since starting this story. Now cross-posting on AO3.**


	10. Chapter 10

**10\. End of the Year**

The rest of the summer term passed without any major incident. That is to say that no one was grievously hurt. The first-year Gryffindor boys did indeed spend most of April in detention scrubbing cauldrons and removing strange hybrid flobberworms from Hagrid's veggie patch. But of course, they weren't deterred from increasingly ambitious pranks. Not that they'd actually succeeded in sneaking into the Forbidden Forest yet or in figuring out who was responsible for pranking them in the first place.

This meant that Lily and her friends were all very smug and even her ginormous cat Tiger had caught onto the lazy summer feeling that had all of the professors' tearing their hair out while marking abysmal exams. No one was feeling much bothered by anything and Marlene was just glad that she wasn't finding dead mice under her duvet every other night now.

Gryffindor won the Quidditch cup although the House Cup was still to be announced at the feast the next evening. It had been a dirty final match but the aftermath was surprisingly peaceful; the weather was just too hot and humid to put up much of a fuss, even the Slytherins. Gryffindor Tower partied long into the night until McGonagall shut it down. Someone had even sneaked in some Butterbeer and James was currently proclaiming to anyone who would listen that when he was on the team, they would never lose the Cup. Unfortunately, the effect was somewhat ruined by his constant croaking; James had screamed himself hoarse during the match.

…

Lily was bored of the party so she slipped out of the portrait hole and hurried down to the library; it wasn't long until curfew. There weren't any books she needed but at least it was peaceful there. She spotted Lupin curled up in the bay window seat with an extremely heavy looking book. Lupin – and Longbottom – she'd decided a while ago were the only bearable first-year boys in Gryffindor so she thought she might as well go say hello.

"What are you reading?"

He started and almost toppled onto the floor, "Oh, er… nothing really. It just looked interesting."

Lupin looked reluctant to share but he tilted the cover towards her anyway. It was 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them'. Lily decided to sit down even though he hadn't really said she could, "Oh cool, I love that book. I've read loads of extra stuff this year too just so I can understand the Wizarding World – and why isn't it the Witching World anyway? – and that's one of my favourites. Do you want to take Care of Magical Creatures in third year too?"

Lupin looked even more startled at having to process so many words at once. His eyes widened slightly and he gulped, "Yes?"

"Good. You're sensible and won't scare Unicorns or insult Hippogriffs. Did you also come here to escape the party?"

"Yeah, and escape James and Sirius. I think their prank for the feast is taking it a bit far, even for them. Peter won't back me up though. And I'm tired," he explained wearily. Lily noticed now how pale he was looking and the deep bags under his eyes. He had a small scratch on his nose too.

"I don't know why you sound surprised. They always have to go bigger and better than the last time," she shrugged, "how's your mum? You went to visit her again last week, didn't you?"

Lupin looked away, "Uh yeah, she's ok… hey can I ask you a question and can you promise not to get mad?"

She raised an eyebrow – or tried to at least. Long hours in front of the mirror hadn't quite paid off yet. He was awful at changing the topic but still she trusted his question wouldn't be utterly horrifying, "…Ok."

"Was it you who pranked us after Easter?"

"…"

"I mean, 'cause I think it was brilliant apart from the detentions of course. Although Sirius did seem to enjoy having pink hair a bit _too_ much."

This was not what she'd expected at all and Lupin was looking less worried and more amused now, "You're not going to tell Black and Potter are you?"

"Not yet," he smirked which looked weird considering he had the best deadpan face of anyone she knew.

"Are you serious?"

"No, I'm Remus. But really what's the point of stirring up trouble now with only a couple days left. Much more satisfying to wait for next year!"

Lily punched him gently-ish in the arm, "Fine. I'll just spend the summer planning my anti-revenge pranks."

"It'll be a battle greater than Hogwarts has ever seen. Worse even than Peeves versus the Giant Squid last month!" he joined in joyfully before Madam Pince swooped down on them and shooed out into the corridor. Luckily, they weren't also chased by the biting books that were kept my her desk; they were normally quiet enough that she almost liked them.

"Sorry Lily," he whispered guiltily.

"That's alright Remus. It was just nice to escape the chaos for a bit."

…

Lily and Sev were wandering aimlessly across the grounds as they soaked up the rare Scottish sunshine before the feast. They hadn't spent as much time together recently so she was looking forwards to the summer when it could be just like when they were little kids. They hadn't wanted to draw too much attention to their friendship since January although it was almost impossible to escape the jeering of Potter's little gang. She didn't even know why they disliked Sev so much. Lily suspected that was also adding to his bitterness over Quidditch although he claimed indifference.

At least he seemed to have some of his own friends now because being less of a loner within their own houses also meant they were less likely to be noticed. She wasn't sure how close he was with his dormmates but she didn't really want to know. Not that Lily would ever tell Sev but they made her uneasy.

"AAACHOOOOO!"

Sev's sneeze snapped her out of her thoughts. There was lots of pollen outside at the moment and he'd always reacted to it – yet something else he wouldn't admit. She pretended not to notice as he tried and failed to discreetly wipe his nose with his sleeve. Ugh, even her best mate could be gross sometimes. Not as gross as Potter but still. And think of the devil…

"Oi Evans! What are you doing hanging out with Snivellus here? We're going to play Quidditch, wanna help even up the sides a little?" Potter swaggered up to them, friends in tow.

"No thank you," she bit her tongue so as not to say anything else. She was already restraining Sev as it was and neither of them needed detentions to be awarded that would carry into next year.

Potter shrugged, "Your loss. See ya round Evans. Snivellus."

"AAAAACHOOOOOOOO!"

They watched their retreating backs and fading laughter until Lily figure it was safe to let go of his arms. Sev straightened his robes and glared, "They are not getting away with this."

"Let it go Sev. It wasn't even that big a deal this time. Just take off your robes or something. It's far too hot and no one else is wearing them. Honestly you'll feel loads better."

"Why are you defending them? I thought you hated Potter."

"I do but I've decided to try and be civil even when he and Black are being unbearable and leave the immaturity to them. Come on, let's just try and enjoy our last day."

…

Lily was glad today wasn't as hot. The entire school was waiting for the Horseless Carriages to take them to Hogsmeade Station and she just didn't have the energy to do anything but half listen into her friends' conversations. It was mostly just idle chatter about owling each other often and what sweets the Trolley Lady would have today. She couldn't really focus on much but how excited she was to see her parents again. She'd gotten top marks in almost all her classes and was ready to spend two months relaxing.

Lily's daydreams were interrupted when she realised the Gryffindor boys had suddenly appeared and now everyone was huddled around something she couldn't see. There was lots of furious and furtive whispering. She poked Marlene, "What is it?"

"Today's Prophet. Here," she scooched over to let Lily into the tight circle they'd made. The whispering stopped immediately and Potter tried to hide the paper behind his back.

She rolled her eyes, "What is it Potter?"

Everyone else looked scared and worried but he looked pretty angry despite trying to seem nonchalant, "Nothing to worry about, Evans. Just some rumours."

Marlene huffed, "Cut the crap James and let her see it. Out of all of us Lily has a right to know. If you think you're being chivalrous you're wrong, you're just a moron, she can handle it."

Sheepishly he held the paper back out so everyone could read it.

…

 **SIX DEAD IN MOST VICIOUS ATTACK YET**

 **Last night, muggleborn witch Isabella Smith was found dead in her Birmingham home along with five members of her muggle family.**

The attack is suspected to be the work of a new radical hate group who are rumoured to be calling themselves the Death Eaters. This is the tenth attack in the last two years of a similar nature but nothing has been proven yet. No names of possible members are known although their powerful ideology of pureblood supremacy is thought to not be uncommon among the magical community. Even less is known of their elusive leader.

The muggle authorities have been led to believe that the family have died from a tragic accident. The inhalation of a toxic substance called carbon monoxide produced by some muggle devices is known to be fatal.

If you have any information regarding these upsetting events please contact the Department for Magical Law Enforcement immediately. Head Auror Moody's report continues on page 4.

…

Lily stared at the countryside rushing by outside. The peaceful fields would soon give way to overpopulated towns and thick air. Her tears had long since dried but she could still feel where they'd tracked down her face. Only now was it hitting her how insignificant she was compared to the unknown forces out there who were plotting against people like her. How was she going to keep herself and her family safe if things got worse? She didn't really understand it all and her parents still thought that what happened on her birthday was just some inter-house animosity that had gotten out of hand in the lead up to a Quidditch match.

That family in the paper could have been _her_ mum and dad and Tuney.

She didn't look at her friends even though they tried to get her involved with their game of Exploding Snap. She didn't even want a Chocolate Frog. The journey seemed longer than usual and she couldn't wait to get out of the cramped compartment.

Lily finally looked around when the door slid open. Maybe she would actually have a Chocolate Frog this time. Oh… it was Potter. He and his mates were in the opposite compartment. She lent her head back against the window feeling utterly drained. Honestly, how she hadn't punched him after she'd read the article she didn't know. He didn't get to choose to keep her ignorant of what was happening.

She wished Sev was here. He'd understand. But they would have all summer together so right now he was with his Slytherin mates.

"Alright Evans?"

"…"

"Look I'm real sorry, ok?"

"Shove off Potter," Mary muttered. Lily almost smirked; Mary never said stuff like that to anyone.

She sat back up, "You know what. I think I will join in the next round of Snap. Best of three, winner gets all the Fizzing Whizzbees?"

Her friends grinned. They were probably relieved she was letting them distract her at last. Marlene started dealing out the pack with worrying enthusiasm, "You're on!"

A petulant complaint came from the doorway, "Fine then, be like that. Don't come hang out in the fun compartment even though it's way more cramped in here."

"You've got your maths wrong Potter. If you'd just leave it'd be equal numbers in both compartments. Not that I'd choose to hang out with you even if the Giant Squid was in here too."


End file.
